nisaaaeatsworld

What a tiring day.

2011-11-09T20:39:00.000-08:00

Hi. I swear that today was one hell of a tiring day. Woke up at 9am just this morning when class is suppose to start at 9am. -.- Gotta freaking quit this habit of coming late to class as its gonna affect my attendances and GPA points. I don't know what is up with me today? Was super cranky at school and I think its due to the lack of sleep? Maybe or I'm just exhausted cause I had to work yesterday night. :/ I'm working again tomorrow. -.- But thanked god that there's no school on friday and finally I can just rest and rot my ass at home. Well, I was excuse from class early just now cause I had an appointment at CGH and bad news, I will be going for another surgery after cambodia trip. Was'nt really that happy. Sighs, this is gonna be the third surgery on my back, on the same spot. Doctor says that I might have to go through an MRI scan to see whether the cyst on my back have spread to my bones? Plus the MRI scan will cost me about 500 bucks? WHERE THE FUCK AM I GONNA GET THAT KINDA AMOUNT OF MONEY? I really hate whats going on now. I just feel I'm better off dead, I'm forever giving my parents problems. *huge sighs* I just wanna get this done and over with. :'(

Deep thoughts.

2011-11-07T03:29:00.000-08:00

Hi. Time check is 2:54am and I'm still not asleep. Hoorraaaayyyyyyy. Since it was Hari raya haji, I spend the whole afternoon with family at nenek's house. No duit raya but till, I ate alot and I also manage to see budak gemok. That boy is forever cheeky, I swear that I could'nt stop kissing him just now, too cute lah! Hahaha. Just spend some equality time with family and reached home about like 11pm? Well, overall it was a nice day spend at nenek's house. :) Shall be heading to bugis library later with qais, to study. Since I got a CMN's test tomorrow. -.- So shall spend atleast 3-4 hours on maths. Urgh, hoping to atleast pass the test & after I'm done studying, shall spend the time taking pictures of random sceneries. I've always wanted to do that but I never got the time to do that. So why not do it later??

Now I can't sleep. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me? My body clock is seriously fucked up. Its nearly coming to a year of being single. Well, good life I may say but sometimes the feeling of missing being loved by somebody is there. Yeahs, I'm feeling it now actually. I miss getting hugs at the back, I miss getting kisses all over my face, I miss how sometimes talking about every single thing with a certain someone, no matter how silly or embarassing it is but ended up laughing together after that. Well, I miss that. I don't miss anyone, its just that I miss having all that. The feeling is just really overwhelming until to a certain extend that it makes me wanna cry sometimes? Really envy looking at those who are attached now. How happy they are? When I'm here killing my way to find happiness for myself. Yeah, I'm thankful for atleast having great friends and an awesome family for always being there for me whenever I need them. But sometimes, we just need a certain someone who is abit special and close to our hearts.

I'm just tired of feeling this way, I'm just tired of feeling so insecured about the myself and the way that I look and I'm tired of the feeling where I'm never gonna be good enough for anyone. Sighs. I may be all smiles. But overall, I'm just a girl with a messed up life and a messed heart. Goodnight.

HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

2011-11-04T19:46:00.000-07:00

Haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Finally I can get to update my blog cause for these past few months, blogger have been a bitch. I can't even post updates. Annoying right? -.- Anw, things between me and yusof have longgggggggggggg ended already. I had my reasons why I had to let him go, believe me, it wasnt easy letting someone who has been with you for nearly a year. Everything happens for a reason. Never the less, it wasnt his fault. I guess we are just no fated to be together. So its okay. Wish him all the best in his new relationship with his current gf now. :)

Anw, I managed to get into a new school which is in ITE college central tampines. Currently in the course, higher nitec in electronics. All I can say is that higher nitec aint easy. So trying my best to cope with everything, insyaallah boleh and yes, I did makes new classmates. Did I mention that all of my new classmates are awesome? Haha. :D Plus I'll be going to cambodia for a CIP trip this 8th december! YAYYYY! My first ever plane ride and first time going to other country accept for malaysia & that was when I was only 9. It was 10 years back. -.- HAHAHAHAH. SO STOKED FOR CAMBODIA! One month left to cambodia! Gonna be helping the less fortunate students aged 3-20? The guys are going to help renovating their classroom while me, atikah and rashidah will be teaching the students, basic english & play some games with them. I'll be in cambodia for 2 weeks. Hoping that I would'nt cry due to missing home. Cause this is the first time that I'll away from home, that long. But whatever it is, nothing can stop me from having a chance to go to cambodia. :D

Ohh Yes, I went to the paramore concert again last 21st august. I swear to god, I had the time of my life headbanging to their songs. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, you can never get sick of paramore I tell you. Plus, Hayley invited a fan on stage to sing with her. He even got the chance snap a picture of him with hayley and the swallers (the band on tour with paramore) on stage. What a lucky bastard. HAHAHAHAHAHA. But it was one hell of a night to remember. There's alot of things that i wish to update on about. But if I do upate about it, I can go forever. Haha. So I shall start blogging regularly. Till then, have a great weekends people. :)

Finally an update .

2011-03-06T22:12:00.000-08:00

Hi hello ! I know it has been awhile since I update my blog . Kinda miss blogging . :) Been too busy working and too busy being lazy at the same time too . Hehe . Alot have happen , well I've quit my current job as a screener at CGH . Gonna miss all the makciks there , kak norsiah , chua (cisco) , kak muyas , kak haliza , bakir and kak fida . Plus I think its was so sweet of all the makciks to buy me a present and suprise me on my last day of work . Thank you , Ill never forget you all . :)

Okay currently now , I'm working at Cathay with my baby girls , Kak ayul & meeraaaaaaaaaaaaa . :D

Not to forget ! Shazwan will also be working with me . hehehehehehehehehe . Okay lah , it will be less boring for me . Been working for 3 days already , the

work there is okay , the people there is also friendly but I just gotta endure the 8-9 hours of standing . Macam nak potong kaki aku je . But Im looking forward to the work there cause its fun . :) Ohh yeah plus I got my results already and my application for higher nitec was unsucessful . :( So I had to reappeal again and the result is will be this 1st april . Hopefully , I can get into a higher nitec course . Cause I really miss going to school and nobody knows how much I want to be in a school now . :( If I still can't get into a higher nitec course , I shall wait for next year and try to retake any nitec course but its not going to be automotive technology anymore . Its going to be other course or I shall take private O's ? Must atleast have a plan B in anything that we do right ? So I'm going start saving for my private O's as well , going to retake my english , maths & science . Insyaallah boleh punya . *crossfinger* :D

Anyway , things between the boy is doing very well & we just turned 9th this month . Okay lah , I know only 9th months . HAHA . Masih kental lagi . lol . But I know he has been there for me everyday and everytime when I needed him . I could'nt ask for anything more . :) I love you boyfriend cause you mean the world to me right now . Looking forward to spend more months with you . Insyaallah . :) Tayang tayang ! ~

I GOT WORK TOMORROW AT 9AM UNTIL 6PM . UHHHH SIAN . OKAY BYE . :D

BORED .

2011-01-24T23:00:00.000-08:00

Now I'm starting to feel bored working most of the time . 12 hours 12 hours , die lah like that . :( But nvm lah . Anw , starhub just had to cut off my handphone lin,e for the time being , I can't make any outgoing calls or text people . I can only receive incoming calls and text messages . How great is that ? I receive my bills on the 22rd jan and they cut off my bills on the 24th ? Tsk ! Really not funny ! Cause right now , Im having sucha hard time to my family and friends which sucks . :( How can they cut off my bill when I did atleast make a payment of 100 bucks last month ? Sheesh . As soon as i get my pay , I'm going to pay full this time and then I'm gonna fuck starhub for this .*middlefinger* Yes , life have been getting boring ever since I've been working . Urgh . Really hoping I can continue schooling and I'm miss going to school badly . So please results , please please please be good to me . PLEASE . *crossfingers* 15th february , COME QUICK . Ohh yeahs , me and mom are going to stop going to new york skin solution , the treatment is just fucking expensive . For one treatment is 107 bucks , lamer lamer botak jugak sia mak aku nanti . Now the sucky thing is that my face is fucking red . Macam clown . Aku tak suka please . :'( Okay bye , nak tidur !

Sometimes I wish I could erase some of my memories cause I did'nt know it would hurt me this much.

Updates.

2011-01-16T20:54:00.000-08:00

Hi . Looks like I'm updating again . My weeks were spend with Ex-classmates playing frisbee . How awesome is that ? After playing frisbee , went slacking under the voideck playing never ending games and even have supper at mac which was at tampines west community centre. Its was fun . :D Thanks hannan , shah , hykel , mishardy and jai for the awesome day . :) Took alot of pictures but I'm playing lazy to post it all here . All of it is at my fb . Thanked god , I got myself a job . Well , it might not be at Topshop or any of the retails outlets , but I'm glad that atleast I've a job at CGH . Eventhough it might not be the place that I wanted to work at but atleast I should be thankful that I've a job . I've to thank mommy , if it wasnt for her , I think I will still be rotting my ass at home . Love you mom . Well , my job is to just screen the patients at the A & E , take their temperature and just observe the patients . Went for trainning just now on my first day of work and I kinda enjoy it . Kerja lepak je , siapa taknak ? All the makciks there , kaki gerek . Hehe . Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day cause I'll be working night shift for 12 hours . -.-' but look at the bright side , Im going for facial tomorrow at 12 noon ! hehehehehe . :D Can't wait .

Anyway , spend my whole day with boyfriend yesterday . Okay wait , before that I met roshan . Haha . He told me that he wanted to give me a treat at starbucks . hehe , so why not ? Its been awhile since I met him . We did some catching up session and he told me something about himself that I least expected . Well , atleast all that was in the past . I did told him how much I miss working at mac and how much I miss being around the group of people at TECC , slacking with the crews & riders after work . I miss all of that , but its kinda sad that every one now got their own things to do . I miss those kaki gerek people , where you all gooooooooooooooo ? :( ok , shall stop talking about this , so slack with roshan at starbucks and soon after meet the boy . Went dating with him and had dinner at seoul garden , eventually I had an awesome evening spend with the boy . Thank you hor ! He make me feel so fat but yet happy nak mampos . Hehe . Love you lah . Ohh yes , I've watched the movie called "Aku masih dara." Besttttttttttttttt giler , I nak suami macam Firdaus (Asyraff muslim) can ? Dier handsome , pandai ngaji , kuat dalam agama & kalau dapat seseorang macam dier kan bagus . Nak husband like that please . Heheheheh . Okayyyyyyyyyyyy bye . :D

Misses .

2011-01-12T21:49:00.000-08:00

Hi . Im currently feeling bored , so I shall update my blog since I have the time . I have already apply for my higher nitec course . Hopefully I can get into any of the course that I pick , cause I really want to start school and continue with my study . This time I will really study hard , so 15th february ! Please come quick ! So that I can know what's my results ? Plus I can't bare sitting at home all the time with nothing to do and yes , I have resign working at ivic . Working at ivic there sucks and management is so cock up , hate it . Well thanked god , I would'nt be working there anymore . I've also interview for a new job at wingtai building yesterday , so hopefully I get to work in any of the retail outlets like topshop , uniqlo or diva ? Insyaallah . *crossfingers*
Anw , things with the boy is really doing good now and we are gonna turned 8th month this month . Eventhough its just our 8th , but still Im glad that he's still here with me despite our ups and downs . Hehe . Yes , the reason that I posted pictures from the times with the dudes and dudette , it cause Im missing you guys a lots ! Please meet up soon ! :') *hugs*

Ohhh yeahs , not to forget this , my back problem is back . Went to CGH for my appointment this morning with mom and I'm on antibiotics for another week . Weeeeeeeeeeee . -.-' Again doctor says that I might be going for another surgery . Urgh . Had enough of that actually but nak baik punya pasal kannnnnn , surgery pon surgery laaaahhh . Not that happy about the surgery thing but Im happy that I got a $500 treatment voucher plus 15 percent treatment voucher from new york skin solution . Hehe . So shall be going for facial next week with mom . Hehehe . :D

Okay bye and I love my people . :)

sleeping problems .

2011-01-04T06:46:00.000-08:00

Hi . Time check : its 6:23 am . Im still fucking awake , which is a bad thing . -.-' Meera is already asleep and now my eyes is glued to her laptop , watching countless of videos and movies just so that my eyes would feel tired and I can go to sleep but I can't . Tsk . One reason that I can't sleep is due to panadols . Yeah , weird . Most of time if anybody who have taken panadols or any medications , they would be feeling drowsy and sleep but as for me ? I feel hyper . -.-' Yes , very weird . Urgh . Now my body clock is all ruined and I freaking hate it . I miss going to school everyday eventhough the destination is far from home but still , school is one thing that will make feel tired easily and whenever I reached home from school , I'll be going to the toilet , have my shower , have dinner , watch tv and sleep on time . Atleast my body clock would'nt be ruined until like this . Urgh , seriously have problems sleeping right now . Wishing that my body clock could go back to the way it was last time cause I really need my sleep now . Im really really really exhausted but my eyes just would'nt shut . HELLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP ! :'(

NEWYEAR , NEW LIFE , NEW MIRACLES .

2011-01-03T20:08:00.000-08:00

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii . ITS 2011 already ! So happy new

year people ! Hopefully this year will be a better year for me . May god bless my family and friends . :) My new year resolution for this year is that i just wanna be happy cause being happy will be good enough for me . :) But still , 2009 will still be

my best year . (Y) Well , Im currently at meera's house . Having a sleepover at her place , so gonna be here for a few day . Yesterday , both me and cuz didnt sleep the whole night . -.-' HAHA . Instead we spend the time watching music videos , movies on youtube and of course bitching about life and all . By around 630 am , both of us were complaining that we are hungry , so decided to had breakfast at 7am . Ate like we never ate before , haha . Had hotcakes and by the time , my eyes weight like 5000 pounds . I was freaking tired and sleepy already . After breakfast , head home and sleep . YES , I KNOW RIGHTTTTTTTTTTTT . Perangai aku dengan meera macam babi kaaaaaannn ? haha . So slept at 8 am and woke up at 230 pm . Had only 6 and half hours of sleep which is still not enough for me . Did try to sleep again but could'nt . -.-' Thought of going job hunting with meera but then she had to spend her butt at home doing her project . Well , next time perhaps ? and yes , my results are already out . Sadly , I did'nt do that well . My GPA point was sucha disappointment but its okay . Im not gonna stop here , gonna try to appeal for higher nitec course cause Im not ready to work as a full timer . The commitment isnt there yet , insyaallah that I can get into any of the higher nitec course . AMIN . Thanks to those friends and family members of mine who have been encouraging me to go on with my studies . Selagi boleh belajar then why not ? HEHE . Korang shoooo sweeet . Love your all . :)

My feelings is playing games with my heart.

2010-12-29T01:39:00.001-08:00

I don't know why but I feel like updating my blog right now. All these while, I've been trying to be strong. Putting aside everything but I can't. I've been lying to myself all these while, saying that everything will be okay and i'll be okay but the thing is that i'm not okay. Sometimes, i feel that my feelings is playing games with my heart. I've a boyfriend but yet, i can't let go my past. I did'nt knew that my past would leave me broken until now. :( The feelings is just killing me inside. I feel awful, horrible and sometimes, i just feel like i should just die. I just did'nt know that it would hurt me this much & I really miss being a happy girl. *sighs* :'(

I thought you would understand but you never did.

BOREDDDDDDDDDDDD .

2010-12-27T20:29:00.000-08:00

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii . Okay currently Im superb bored , brother was nice enough to lend me his laptop . Okay , right now Im superb tired , my back is killing me . I think I will be heading down to the polyclinics tomorrow cause I can't seem to stand the pain anymore . If I were to undergo another operation again , I'll freaking kill the doctor if I have too . Work have been sucha bitch , I hate working as an ivic agent . Working there is okay , its easy but sitting there, anwering calls and waiting for the time to past is just fucking slow . Its mentally draining my brain . Urgh , Ive been asking mommy if there's any vacancy at her work . Cause I can't stand working there . -.-' On christmas which is a public holiday , THERE'S NO DOUBLE PAY . WTF ? Pelokek punya ivic , buat penat aku je kerja on a saturday from 6pm-2am ? cb dog btol. Seriously , Imma search for a new job really soon . So today I shall be a good girl and rest my ass at home today . Anw ,

HAPPY 22RD BIRTHDAY TO MY FAVOURITE IDOL , HAYLEY WILLIAMS !

SO PLEASE COME TO SINGAPORE AGAIN OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY ?

ME LOVE PARAMORE VERY MUCH ! :)

Pure boredom .

2010-12-22T16:24:00.000-08:00

This is why I love my cousin so much . :D

BIRTHDAY .

2010-12-20T00:00:00.000-08:00

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii . Imma gonna update my blog . Alright , as you can see this "kurang kasih sayang" stalker of mine , hydir does'nt know what's the meaning of CACAT (handicap in malay)& how to use the word "PUKI KOYAK" (vagina tear ? hahaha or in a nicely way its how he describe not a vagine anymore ?) Okay I shall explain to him what's the meaning of "CACAT" is , first of all , cacat is someone who can't walk , can't talk , who is deaf and its obvious that god have given me a face with two eyes to see , one mouth talk , one nose to smell and two ears to hear . So I don't think that there's anything cacat about the way I look . So you gonna call me cacat , why ? cause my face is full of pimples ? haha . Well , try harder okay hydir ? Cause it does'nt hurt me anymore . So what if I have people that hate me ? It means that I'm ahead of them and do my face look like I give shit if there's people out there who hates me ? Well , NO . Sejak biler puki aku koyak ? Setahu aku , aku tk pernah jual puki aku pat orang pon ? Kau salah orang kot ? Member kau bilang kau yang puki aku dah koyak ? Puki boleh koyak ke ? Kau da pernah try ke ? You talk as if you have done it before , fucking other girls is it ? Listening to your friends blabbering shits about me ? So selama ni kau hidup bawah bontot kawan kau lah ni ? kalau kawan kau makan taik , kau pon makan taik uhh ? Hahaha ! Baek broooo . -.-' What a sad sad life you have lahhh . Okay lah , I shall stop my story about this kurang kasih sayang boy here . Hehe . Work was okay , but Im still having body cramps . :( Well , look at the bright side , boyfriend have been spending alot of his time with me now and I'm happy . We had supper together at mac after my work ended at 12 am and guess whose birthday is it today ? MEEERRRRAAAA ! :D

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY ANAK PAK MOKTAR . :)

Spammers have NO DICKS.

2010-12-18T23:11:00.001-08:00

IP code: 220.225.1.19

Look whose back? Back again? *singing* SPAMMERS & STALKERS ARE BACKKKK! hehehe. Well, look like i have a stalker named HYDIR. I have no idea who the hell he is? A boy whose acting like a pussy or a manwhore? It seems like he's enjoying reading through my blog, looking at my pictures, commenting about it and knowing about what's happening in my everyday life. He even spammed me on my taggedboard, calling me names like pimples face, asking me to buy alots of mirrors so that i can look at my face and even tell me not to act like one hotstuff bitch in school. So i shall be sweet and dedicate this post just for him, hehe. First of all, the dude must be one hell of a sad boy. Awwwhhh, keciannnn dier. Why do i say this? He even has a problem with my face having pimples and scars on it? Awwhhh sad much? I wonder why does it bother him so much? This is what god have given me, so i shall just accept it with sincerity. Second thing is that why in the world would i want to buy myself alots of mirrors, kat rumah aku ade banyak cermin. Buat per aku nak buang duet beli lagy? -.-' third thing is that, since when did i act like one hotstuff bitch in school? Im not well known and im low profile, only the dudes in my course know me. Forth thing is that, this is my blog, aku punya suke laaa nak buat taggedboard baru? And by calling me "PENGECUT NYE PUKI" (coward vagina) would'nt make you a bigshot or anything? Haha. I should be the one who should call you a COWARD cause you're just plain gutless and isnt it obvious? Zaman biler mau maen maki maki pt taggedboard? Zaman biler mau perangai mcm budak cyber gangster? Zaman sudah basi laaahhh bro. Grow up and get yourself a life. Jadi manusia, takmo perangai mate merah & iri hati dengan orang okay? Yes, only idiots would spam me on my taggedboard & not knowing that i can actually track down their IP codes & report to the authorities. Hehe, so the four years of studying CPA in secondary school was a indeed a good thing. Hehe. Well hydir, macam aku cakap, feel free okay to spam lagy? You're always welcome. Ill be more then happy to hear from you again and having a source of entertainment during my long holidays. Woot woot! :D

Stick and stones could break my bones, but words could never hurt me. :)

Happy belated 21st birthday boyfriend, i owe you my heart & i love you so much. :')

My Insecurities could really eat me alive.

2010-12-16T06:16:00.001-08:00

Hi. Hello everyone. I just feel like blogging today cause i feel so upset. Take a look at my face. I know i have alots of pimples. I know im not beautiful, im ugly. I know i don't have flawless skin like other pretty girls do but im only human, humans have feelings too & so do i. But this is what that makes me who i am and what i am today. Ive pimples cause its part of growing up, no girls would wanna feel so insecure about her face, body or anything that's surrounding her. All i can say is that, its not the outside that counts right? But its the heart that matters. So what if my face is full of pimples? As long as im happy, things will be okay right? I just don't like it when its comes to people telling me "you have alot of pimples." i know, i get the picture. Im ugly, i know. Its just that im sensitive when it comes to people telling about my face. My point is that, we don't have to be beautiful to feel beautiful cause everyone is beautiful in every single way.

School's out!

2010-12-09T06:20:00.001-08:00

Look whose back? Back again. *singing* hahah! Chey! Okay, hiiiiiiiii. Sorry for the lacks of updates, been busy with school, work and life. How's life? Well, okay as usual. Finally! After months of trying to pyscho my parents in letting me enroll for bike lessons have finally paid off! Hehe. I gonna enroll with my dearest kakak sedare at the end of this month. Hehe. Superb excited. :) and now, about work? Well work is pretty much okay too, kinda gotta use to the long hours of boredom and picking up stupid calls from irritating customers. -.-' My first pay of work was not that bad for a part-timer. 405 bucks, i think its worthwhile. Hehe & about my relationship with yusof, to be honest. Im not feeling the love anymore but i don't know why im still holding on? he's not working, not schooling but yet he does'nt have anytime for me anymore. He's that kinda guy whose superb fussy when it comes in finding jobs. Now, im having a hard time contacting him. His hp bills have been cut off. So no texting or calling anymore, we used to contact thru msn, fb, twitter or websms. Pathetic much? Now, can't do that anymore cause his lappy charger have blow. I just feel pathetic. What kinda of girls would like to feel neglected? No girls does. Its weird is it? Ive a boyfriend, but i don't feel like i have one. He live so nearby but somehow i feel like he's so far away. Urgh, shall stop bragging on about my sad love life.

Today is officially my last day of school, done with finals exams. Hopefully, all my projects, assignments, pratical workshop tests & attendance for the whole year could boost up my GPA points, atleast i could get myself in a higher nitec course. Cause i still wanna study. It obviously, im gonna miss my class RA0901N, the 2 years with you guys are the best. The pure madness, the laughters, the joys and the sadness we shared together as a class will always be kept in heart and i used to be the only girl in the course, but yet you guys took care of me very well and have always given such good advices. Even treat me like one of your little sister. I love you guys and seriously, imma gonna miss all of the you! So please stay in contact & please have more outings. If any of you are getting married, please don't forget to invite me, hehe. :)

RA0901N, misses. <3<3<3

Heartbreaks.

2010-11-16T06:10:00.001-08:00

Heartbreaks happen by expecting too much.

Problems.

2010-11-14T11:06:00.001-08:00

Hey. Im effing bored. I know its been awhile while i went missing. Somehow i feel like updating my blog today. Okay currently, ive started working already. Alhamdulilah, the work is even better then swensens. Its just that i got my weekends burns due to work. But its alright, i guess ill have to live with that for now.

But right now, there's many things running through my mind & how i wish it will be easier letting everything out. But... *long sighs* there's just too many things which bothering me so much, that i just feel like crying most of the time. I know, im sucha cry baby & i know crying would'nt do any better either. I wish life was abit easier, i wish problems would'nt keep coming in & how i wish that i would'nt feel this miserable.

I miss being a happy girl. Really.

Blood related .

2010-11-03T01:31:00.000-07:00

It suck having someone who is your brother , who is also your blood & who is not talking to our mother . It suck alot . While Im stuck in the middle of two person that i love most , listening to mom's story about you & your side of the story about mom . For my point of view , ITS YOUR FAULT OKAY BROTHER ?! D: Im really ashamed having you as my elder brother . How could you even have the heart to say that mom is a "money face person" ? How in the world can she not get angry & heartbroken ? Who the fuck to you think you are bro ? All she ask was , "Why you never eat what dad cook ?" & your replied was , "SHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! BISING UHHH IBU , DIAM BOLEH TAK ?!" Then she ask you for money cause she, herself was having cash trouble in settling all the bills & yet , you had to call her money face . Seriously , the "money face" person that you call is OUR MOTHER , OUR LIFE & OUR EVERYTHING . Your life revolves around her . All these while , she was the one who took care of us , work like fuck just to put food on our table , took care of us when we were sick , pampered us with love , cook for us , send us to school when we were young & many more . But yet , she never did ask for anything in return . All she wanted was for her 1st son to give her some money so that she can clear off some of the house bills . Dengan mak sendiri pon kau lokek ? So what ? kau da NS ? Big fuck uhh kirekan ? Da besar sangat uhh tu ? Sorry to burst your bubble bro , your NS life is just the beginning . There's more yet to come & you have yet to learn what's the meaning of life . You make a promise to mom , you say that when you went in for NS , you're gonna help her ease some of her burdens , by giving some cash for her so that she could atleast pay the bills or buy the things that is needed . But then , cakap je tapi tk buat then why make a promise in the first place ? Seriously , I cannot respect you anymore . Cause it hurt me to see mom cry cause of what you did . What break my heart most is that , mom even have the mindset to gave up on us & run away from us . See how stress mom is now ? But yet , you don't seem to care , you did'nt even apologies to her & you still got the cheek to say that mom started this whole fight when you , yourself is at fault . YOU'RE SO SELFISH . I HATE YOU !!! D:

syurga di bawah tapak kaki ibu .

Pure boredom.

2010-10-18T22:03:00.001-07:00

Hiiiii earthlings. Im in school right now and im effing bored. Feels like asking someone to kill me right now. Urgh. :/ Anyway, I just don't understand why is it hard for people to just mind their own business? I mean like come on, what does your friendship with my boyfriend gotta do with my relationship with my boyfriend? You're 21 years old but you act like a primary 2 kid. Its wrong for my boyfriend to say that your behaviour is like a girl? Even real girls does'nt behave like the way you're behaving now. Its such a shame when actually, you can put aside your egos and settle thing nicely but you choose not to? & instead put the blame on me cause of this mis-understanding. You wanna know why all my boyfriend siblings like me? Well, get this straight to your head, its because perangai aku tak macam hantu like you. Hahah. Well, say whatever you wanna say, call me a bitch or what? Cause your words aint gonna bring me down or bring our relationship down. ;)

Speechless.

2010-10-15T10:33:00.001-07:00

Maybe i should just keep my big fat mouth shut since i can't even voice out about what i feel here. Yes, ive issues about everything now, everything. Even the little things could blow me off & ive no idea why? Maybe i should just keep everything to myself. Less problems, less mis-understandings cause im freaking tired of everything already. Per nak jadi, jadi lah. Aku terserahkan semua kepada tuhan. If this is my punishment, about my past wrong doings then i shall except it.

But one thing for sure, im definitely gonna quit my job at swensen. This is what i want & its on the behalf of my parents as well. I don't want to work in a place where the managers are racist. Cause its pointless to work your ass off, when they still keep pestering you to work 4 days or more when they know that you got school. School ends late almost everyday. They are not in my shoes, they wouldnt know how tired it feels like, travelling from east to west and west to east back just to drag your ass to school, making your way back home & working at the same time. Ive a life and i need a break too. Exams are coming & i wanna do well.

1. Im tired of fighting.
2. But im gonna be honest with you that the previous post which i deleted was meant for you, cause your text msg make me think that you were never sincere in helping me & it has nothing to do with what you post in your blog anymore.
3. Yeahs, you're just saying, but im the one who is feeling that your sincerity wasnt there.
4. I repeat, i want to quit my job not because of this only but cause of the racist issues as well, managers, travelling & my hectic school scehdule as well.
5. The comment that i post on my bf's fb wall was meant for HIS friend which me & bf have a mis-understanding with, but its not you.
6. Kalau tak percaya, do your honour & ask my bf yourself.
7. If you think the comment was meant for you, i would have post it at your fb wall already but i did'nt.
8. Please don't be too nice to me and talk to the managers about this, cause ive made my decision about quitting.
9. Im a human being, youre one too, Ive feelings & so do you. Both makes mistakes & nobody is perfect.
10. Lastly, im truly sorry. I know im too much already. Sometimes, angers can get the best of us. If you would'nt except my apology then its up to you. I aint forcing you.

Sometimes, i wish that i can run away from reality. So that it would'nt hurt me this much. :(

Friends come and go.

2010-10-08T23:37:00.000-07:00

Hello. :) today was another day. Went out and have breakfast/lunch with the boy and besties shah & hannan as well. Met all of them after they went for their friday's prayers. How sweet of my besties to wait for me eventhough i was really late. Awwwhhh. :) as usual, after finish eating, slack for awhile & watch stupid videos at youtube on boyfie's lappy which make us freaking laughing our ass off. XD ohh yes, not to forget camwhored as well. AWESOME time. Shah went home first as he had work later on. So decided to follow hannan home to take his guitars and we strum the guitars at a multi story carpark. Hahah! They strum while i suft the net. Soon, afiq & zul tinggi decided to drop by and slack with us. How sweet of afiq and zul to buy for us mac. Hahah. So yeahs, i feel fucking fat now. But whatever it is, today was a nice day spend with besties & boyfie. :D

Ohh yes, this are some pictures from the outings with the swensen dudes and dudettes. More at fb. :)

I don't understand why i keep losing friends who i use to be close with? Little things can be sucha big issues to them?when they don't realise that they are being childish picking a fight with a little 18th year old girl. Well, nvm. Like what people say, friends come and go. I always remember mommy's advice to me, "Hilang satu kawan, tkpe. Kawan mana mana boleh cari. Takkan mati kalau hidup tanpa kawan. Ini baru kawan kalau kehilangan ibu? Saper lagy kau nak merayu kalau aku da tkde?"Her advice really make me pick my friends wisely and at the same time, appreciate the people you have now. Which is my family, my besties & my boyfie. :)

Misunderstandings, again. -.-'

2010-10-06T23:45:00.000-07:00

Hiiiiiiiiiii. Don't you guys think that Kat Von D is just plain hot and sexy? Hahaha. Esp with her nice tattoos all over her? Talking about her, I miss watching her tv reality series, LA INK. Her doing different kinds of tattoos on different kinds of customers with stories of a life time to share with. Very ze interesting. :) I wish i could have tattoos like her but too bad, i can't. Boohoo! :( okay nvm about that. Today, sheesha-ing with the swensen dudes & dudettes went well. Had a great time, esp with nat who is sitting beside me. Da lah mcm perompak, isap sheesha da mcm isap ganja lak. Haha! While meera & azhari got high just cause they sheesha. Haha. Lols. Kecoh nak mampos. :) so went back home with radiah, what a small world it is. Haha. Got to know that she came from my primary school as well. Singapore kecik liao. So chat with rad and soon, she had to drop by at simei. While i decided to meet the boy for supper. Talk things out about yesterday ditching me incident which kinda went haywire. -.-' sumpah aku tak suke. Misunderstandings again & i swear to god, you're nobody to me. If you want me to learn from my mistakes, you can only advice me nicely instead of poking your nose into my problem and tsk, by telling me that things doesnt go my own way? Don't you think that kalau kau nak betol kan orang, diri kau betol kan dulu okay? Look yourself in the mirror first okay? Cause im seriously fucking dead tired of fighting over little issues. Since you are too ego to even point out your own mistakes then nvm laa. Fire fights with fire does'nt help anyway, so i shall be the water. :)

mak saya cakap kalau jadi manusia, jangan nak sibuk jage kain orang lain. Kalau diri sendiri tak betol, aper guna nye kau nasihat kan orang lain? Biler perangai sendiri pon mcm hantu.

A bitch will always be a bitch.

2010-10-04T13:00:00.000-07:00

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. Currently im at home right now, awaken by stupid contructions noise. Drill here, drill there. Seriously, i feel like ripping off my ear if ive the chance too. Cause it make me wake up early in the morning, tsk! How to sleep sia like that? I got work later on. -.-' & worst, the town council just had to shut down my blk electricity for a few hours as they had to replace some stupid cables and wires. Fuck. I had to open all the windows, just to make sure that i wouldnt get fried in my own house due to tge warm temperature. Thanks uhh town council. -.-'

Heading out soon, as usual meet budak gemok later on. :) and then off to work. Yesterday i had a dream about my ex bf current gf. Hahah. I dreamt that i got into a catfight with her. Woot woots! :) while i was working yesterday, ex boyfriend gave me a call so we chatted for awhile & he told me something interesting. Hahah. Well, all i can say that J is sucha an immature girl. Stop being an insecure bitch can? I swear i had enough of you boasting about me. Yeahs, so what if you and ex boyfriend relationship is longer then me and him? Big deal uhhhs? Tsk. By saying that you already beat my record on how long i use to be with your bf is just plain childish & ~~YOU WERE NEVER SINCERE~~ about your relationship at all. Pffft, Grow up & act like your age please. Kalau muke cantik tapi hati busok buat ape? Just face it, you're jealous that you can't have the chemistry like how i & your bf used to have. Ohh yes, im his first love and FIRST LOVE BURNS THE MOST so be jealous bitch. ;)

Two can play this game honey. :D

Raya last kopek.

2010-10-03T11:01:00.001-07:00

Hiiiiiiii. Shall do an update now, well on sat went raya-ing with the seoul garden dudes and dudettes, had an awesome time. The only thing that i hate was my palm shoes decided to have a mouth halfway when we were walking to take a bus to yana's hs. Me & boyfie had to cab back like some kiasu fuck people & i had to change back to my heels. Joy! How wonderful?. -.-' this year will be the last year im wearing heels. I swear, had a long day & ended up with 6 blisters on my feets. Fuck. Had a great day despite the blisters and feeling of chopping my legs off. :)

Today i went to town with the boy as promise he's gonna get me my denim jacket. Hehe. As an anny gift & he pay half of the price for me. Thank you baby. <3 halfway we ended up having a misunderstanding but its all good now. ;) so chill at changi & watch airplanes pass by. By then the clock struck 1130pm, tkde bus liao. BAEK. So cab home, apek taxi macam F1 racer, bawak laju nak mampos. Speed meter 120km. Wtf? -.-' me and boyfie nearly got into an accident. Thanks laa apek, apek pon rabun, kasih aku change pon tak btl. Tkpe, rezeki tu. Hahaha! Okay laa, aku nak tdo.

Work later onnnnn. Urghhhhhh. Can i not go to work plssssssss????? *pouty face* :( & saya malas nak letak gambar, nak tengok, tengok kt fb okay? Thanks, bye, see you again.

Paramore illuminati ? NOOOO !

2010-09-29T20:21:00.000-07:00

Hi . Woke up pretty early today , so that I could get my ass to work by 11am . Tsk . Surprisingly , I was early . -.-' Thanks mom and boyfie for the wake up call . My eyes was half dead , I swear I could faint anytime just to catch up on my sleep . Note to self : I freaking need to sleep early ! Went to work , work was pretty much hectic esp when there's this new promotion called 1 for 1 . Means , you order one main course , you can get another main course free . SO... When the clock strikes 12 , alots of hungry cows went in . Saaaaaaaapppppppppppp , I had to do the settings and ran here & there . Well , pretty much tired . Customers was pretty much demanding la . But whatever , and yes I hate my manager . REALLY . :/ Well , work work work and it was 5 already . Thats means , time for me to punch out . Met deary kakak ayul at dhoby ghaut , at her work place & off to bugis to have dinner at tong shen . (Tak sure uhh namer tempat dier ape? haha . ) Had laksa which Ive been craving to have . Hehe , where kakak had her hati ayam . (chicken's heart) Bitch alots about alots of things which makes us pretty much LAUGH OUR ASS OFF . :D Tonight , I'll be sleeping over kakak's house . :D Like finally , had my first pay . They gave it by cheque , its was just 54 bucks . Pathetic much ? -.-' But nvm , tonight 2RD GAJI MASOKKKK WEYYY . MEANS GUAAA KAYAAAA RAYA DOK ! hehe . tak laa , untuk hari ini aje kaya . :P

Yayyy besok dapat tengok budak gemok . :)

& PARAMORE IS NO ILLUMINATI OKAYS ???? whatever the story is , IM STILL A BIG FAN OF THEM . HELL YELL I AM . :D You call paramore illuminati ? Then I'll call you jealous . :)

Don't you think that usher is freaking sexayyyyy ? hehehe . :D

the date turns 28th .

2010-09-28T23:33:00.000-07:00

Hi hey hello , whenever the date turns 28th , ill be screaming my lungs off . Heheh .

Happy anny my dearest boyfie . :D I'll still be a bitch to you no matter what , slap your forehead whenever I meet you and I'll keep thinking of something evil but sweet to do to you . Hehe . :D

I hope you understand why I keep reminding you that I can't never love you too much , cause I know if I were to love you too much then I might lose you one day . Sweet pah ? haha . But seriously , sometimes I pretend not care but the real thing is that I do . SO I LOVE YOU LAAA . :D & yes today I went raya-ing with the 401 dudes . :) Sad thing is that only a few of us is raya-ing . Can't get the whole class to get along like last time . Well what can I say ? Did'nt took that much pictures cause , aku malas . haha . :D gue banyak makan hari ini . Sayaaaaaa suke . :P

Catfights.

2010-09-27T12:02:00.001-07:00

Hello earthlings. Just came home from a day spend at work and with boyfie. Work was okay today. Pagypagy aku dengan natasha sudah bbl pasal tetek. Haha! Tak senono langsung nyk dua anak dare. Haha! But it was for the sake of fun. :) so started work at 11am and ended at 3pm. The day was hectic but it ended well. Sulaiman busuk hati dengan aku, cakap kalau aku buat runner & settings, dier akan paitao kerja so that ill be on my own for that station. Dier ckp training. Training kebabai! Haha! :D Yes after work ended, met the boy. I was starving as ive not eaten my breakfast. So both of us decided to drop by at bugis junction food court. Ate mee rebus while the boy ate lontong. Then after eating, decided to spend our evening counting stars. It have been awhile. So yeahhh. As usual, kite dua pedih pedih tepi laut & yes i was the one who cried. Hahah! Okayokay. But overall its was a good dayyyy. :)

I keep having alots of fights & misunderstanding this past few weeks. Biler mau game? Penat laaa gadoh gadoh. :/

I want a bike of my own!

2010-09-26T22:49:00.000-07:00

I just had to make another update as im feeling so so bored right now. Yes, I have the urge to just go an enroll for bike's lesson. The sad thing is that mom doesnt allow me too. Im head over heels whenever i see this pretty bike. Yes, i want a x1r bike. Pretty please! :C But i really need mom to give me her blessings. Cause it will be easier, i cant simply enroll for cars as much as mom wants me too. But i can't, for now. If i were to enroll for car lessons now, i need alot of MONEY & atleast have a stable job which atleast earn 1.5k a month. -.-' Im still 18th, there's some studying & schooling to do. But seriously, i wanna get a bike on my own. Mom, please give me the green light pleaseeeeeeee! *pouty face* Nanti nanti lao da dapat kje yang gaji besar, boleh laaa kakak enroll for car lesson. Car is very expensive la mommy. Please mom. :(

If ive a bike, my bike will be my second boyfriend. Hehehe!

Jogging!

2010-09-26T14:00:00.000-07:00

Heyho! How was jogging yesterday? Jogging was awesome. Hehe, i feel so healthy after 2 rounds of 4.8km jog. Well, estimate the total rounds was 16rounds. :) So me and boyfie decided to keep on doing this since im not working on the weekends. So it shall be my daily rountine now. :p

After jogging at bedok reservoir, me and boyfie decided to jog ourselves to tamp inter as we promise to meet shazwan. Hehe. Shazwan was kinda impress that we jog from bedok all the way back to tamp & of course i could'nt stop laughing whenever i slack with him. :)

So accompany the boys to eat at mac, since both of them are starving. I laughed my ass off when wan told me this,

(a kid went in mac wearing the shirt says "the rock." & the kid was looking at him.)

Wan: "Per tgktgk??"
Me: *laughs* "Wan jgn maenmaen tao, dier THE ROCK tao."
Wan: "wtf?! Ohh yeahs talking about the rock, kau nak tao lagu ape bpk dgn abg aku put as their alarm?"
Me: "Apa?"
Wan: *sing* "DO YOU SMELLLLLLLL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING?!!!"
Me: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Wan: "try imagining having that as an alarm?"

Lols. I laughed hard when he told me that & wan looks like perompak yesterday. Hehe, overall its was a nice evening. That kecipot was sweet to meet me and boyfie at tamp yesterday cause he was bored to the max. Now, my body is aching with cramps. Omg. -.-' but im still going for jogging next week! :)

Ill be working tomorrow, 11am-3pm & on wednesday, 11am-5pm. Any kind souls wanna wake me up? :)

Updating blog on my iphone.

2010-09-25T14:30:00.000-07:00

Hi. Finally! I could get an application on my iphone to update my blog. Nyehehehehe. Okay, shall begin now. Today, my morning didnt start well with a smile. Why? Thanks to mom. She purposely ruined my beauty sleep which got me so so mad, until i feel like banging my head again the wall. So nvm, ill stop elaborating about mom.

Today imma gonna get my ass out from home & meet boyfie at 0530hours. Both of us are gonna go for jogging. since its have been sucha long time since i get myself fit and healthy. Last week, i got sick. AGAIN. My goodness! So i shall do myself the honour and stay being healthy cause im sick and tired of falling sick all the time. Ive also done myself a favour to start drinking atleast a few cups of mineral water and no more soft drinks for me. Im still pissed that i still havent receive my pay. Urgh fuck! I need my payyy. My hp bills are over due you know. Help?

short update before heading to work .

2010-09-20T18:17:00.000-07:00

Hey hello . I will try from now onwards to make an effort to update my blog daily . Since Im always coming to kakak ayul's house to see lil ilman , so why not lend her notebook and update my blog ? hehe . :D So I'll be working today at 7pm , end at 11pm which Im not looking forward to and I did'nt go to school just now . So much for trying to improve on my attendance huh nisa *shakeheads* Well the reason I didnt attend school just now is cause Im dead tired from yesterday jalan raya . My heels were killing me bad , I swear to god that my heels are going to break soon . HAHAH ! :D Even mom's says so . hehe . This week & next week will be a hectic week , cause got a lots of jalan raya to do with classmates , ex classmates , swensen's dudes and dudettes & even seoul garden dudes and dudettes too . So Im excited . hehe . :D Ohh yes , I dream of the past again which is starting to scare me . Really . See what I mean ? I want to forget about him but the past will always find its way back to me . URGH FML .

Dear god , please don't let me dream of the past again . Cause the last time I dream about it , it became reality & Im the one who got hurt , again .

UPDATE.

2010-09-15T17:00:00.000-07:00

Hi , Ive neglected my blog for sucha long time . Haha , just plain lazy . Shall start updating now . okay okay fasting month have passed , now its the month of syawal . 1st day of raya went okay but it wasnt that fun cause kak itin wasnt there and so was abg fakrul . So 1st day was less kecoh without my two cousins . For the first time , I actually wore heels . Believe it or not , I did wore 4 inch heels but it was killing my legs slowly and painfully . -.- But the part that enjoy was is getting duet raya ! hehehehe . Im 18th but I sure doesnt know like one . Its good to look young when youre actually not . Well , selamat hari raya to all muslims , kalau ade silap , harap dimaafkan ye . Kalau tknak maafkn aku , tkmo datang rumah . Haha ! :D

school have been slacking & I keep on skipping morning class which is not A GOOD THING . I repeat , NOT A GOOD THING . I swear my grades and attendance are falling , the reason of me skipping morning class is because I always overslept . BOO HOO ! Note to self , SLEEP EARLY AND STOP SKIPPING MORNING CLASS . :S Anyway , I really wanna enroll for bike lessons since Im already 18th but the sad thing is that mom doesnt give me the permission &

her blessings to . :( She wants me to enroll for car lessons instead . Haiyah , but Im more into motorcycles then cars . This is frustating , the reason I wanna enroll for bike lesson is cause its cheaper then cars . Urgh , mom please give me your blessings to enroll for bike lessons . I begged you . please . *pouty face* Hopefully I'll find a way and psycho my mom to give me her blessings . hehehehe . *evil laughs* :P

Anyway , cute kan gambar aku dengan wannn ? hehehehe . :)

another update .

2010-08-20T13:58:00.000-07:00

Hello . Today abg was nice enough to lend me his lappy which is so not him . Haha . Anw , Razak have tagged me all the pictures that we took on the 9th of august . Its just that Im being sucha lazy ass to upload it all on blogger . Wanna see it ? Its all in my fb okays ? I can't fast today thanks to having red light which just sucks . Tsk ! It means I can fast full this year . again . -.-'

Well , nvm . Today is gonna be sucha long day for me , as the weather today is really making me feel so lazy to go to work . :( I just feel like sleeping the whole entire dayyyyyy cause the weather is so freaking niceeeeeee . :D But too bad , I have to dragg my ass to work later , no matter how much i hate working . Urgh & I have yet to get my baju kurung . Gonna get it soon with mommy ! :D Ohh yeahs , Ive created a tumblr . To those , who has a tumblr , please be kind and follow me . HEHE .

http://onceawhore-yourenothingmore.tumblr.com/

Ohh yeahs lastly , there's this insecured bitch who thinks that Im trying to steal her bf ? -.-' Hello miss ! I aint as that bad as you think I am . Get a life and stop boasting things about me that its not true . Saper mahu cuii kau punya jantan sedang kan aku sendiri de mataer aku nak layan ? Da puas aku cuii dier untuk setahun lebih . Tolong eyk , your bf use to be my boyfriend . If you think that by beating my record on how long I used to be with him then that means you were never sincere at all being with him & you're just jealous that you can't have the chemistry that I use to have with your bf . Kalau kau dapat beat record aku , kau boleh dapat aper ? Nothing what ? You're just being childish . Grow up and act like your age okay ? I really have nothing against you but If you're still not happy with me for whatever reasons then meet me . Im sure you will have alot to talk to me infront of my face ? Please , aku dengan mataer kau cumer kawan baik je lahhhh , so jangan nak pikir macam macam eykkk . Ill be looking forward to hearing another story about you being insecured about me . Haha , cause ill be laughing my ass off the first thing . Haiyohhh , people nowadays uhhhs , tak boleh tengok orang senang you know . *shakeheads*

Saper makan chilli akan terasa pedas .

birthday disastrous .

2010-08-14T02:53:00.000-07:00

Hello . I know Ive not updating much , well Ive been a lazy ass . Trust me , I know . Outings with the dudes on the 9th of august went completely well . The dudes totally make my day . :) Had a blast camwhoring , over all we took about like 300 pictures on razak dslr camera . Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh . That's alot . :) I can't wait for the pictures to be uploaded , the funny part is where we were standing in the crowds , its like we were moshing against the banglas . Mostly me and the dudes were gasping for air . Haha ! Dier punya bau , ya allah ! mintak ampun siol . Hahah , but still , I had a great day spend with my awesome classmates . :P

Yesterday I officially turn 18th . Got to be honest , that this year's birthday was a disastrous . I totally did'nt enjoy it . Fought with mom about a stupid thing & now im not in good terms with her neither am I talking to her . Went to break fast with boyfie at swensen but I only ended up hating what we did after that . I wanted to counts stars but boyfie just had ruin it by saying this "I tengok hari ni , langit cam takde bintang je . *look up in the sky* " That even make me more upset , that he didnt even planned what to do , where to go and instead , he wants me to plan everything . His reasons was that he says that he suck in planning . Wtf ? Its my birthday and my birthday only comes once a year . This is the shit that I get ? Its my birthday , why can't I get treated like a princess on my best day ????? why ? We also wasted a lot of time by waiting for his friends to come just so that we can pass food that we didnt finish eating . -.-' After that we ended up slacking under the void deck watching cats running around here and there . Wth . My birthday didnt plan out well & I fucking hate it . :'(

But thanked god that rashad and Khai save the day , by bringing me to slack with them along at changi & watch the aeroplanes flying by in the sky . Atleast something better then watching cats . Tsk ! Well , I got a chance to ride on khai's bike too , hehe . Had a great time talking to them & I must start saving money for now onwards . So that I can have a bike of my own . Lastly , reached home & I got scream by dad . Well , I don't give a shit . Put your hands on me and I swear that you would'not see me coming back home . I mean what I say . Cause my limits are wearing off already .

worst 18th birthday ever . FML .

UPDATE .

2010-08-09T23:30:00.000-07:00

My blog is dead and I really don't care .

Well, sorry for the lacks of updates . Ive been too busy resting my ass off for the whole two week at home . Cause I did went for an operation for my back . The good thing is that I'm recovering well . Alhamdulilah . But the sad thing is that I'm having difficulties to lay down & I also have difficulties in walking . Well I shall be strong enough to endure this for the time being . Its kinda sad that I'm freaking missing alots in school & I miss my classmates as well . I will finally make a come back to school tomorrow . LIKE FINALLY . So excited for that & tomorrow will be the first day of ramadhan , means that tonight I'll be sleeping early too . Hehe . :) I superb can't wait for raya this year as the colour of my baju kurung will be in black . HAHA . :D There's alot of thing that I really wish that I can elaborate on but whenever I wanted to blog , my mind went blank . BOO HOO ! One thing for sure , things between me & the boy are doing much better now . Finally , I feel alot better after writing down for him a two page letter . Yeahs , I know very the "ZAMAN KAMPUNG NAK TULIS LETTER INI SEMUA" but wth ? I really don't care much . I'm happy that the boy did really understand what I meant & how I was really feeling deep down inside . Reading the letter to him wasnt as easy as it looks , the boy face's wanted to cry but the good thing is that he was able to hold on to the tears . Im sorry baby , you know I love you & you know I meant well .

PISSED !

2010-07-24T23:25:00.000-07:00

Im so pissed that I feel like slapping your face if Ive the chance , I would ! Seriously , wtfucking hell do you take me as ? See ! you're doing it again , everytime whenever I wanna spend my time with you , you will fucking have to tell me things that will fucking pissed me off . One whole day is all that I ask for and simply you can't even do that for me . Tsk ! Whenever we both have plan something , its either you will tell me last minute that you wanna slack with your friends as well . Then whats the point of us meeting right ? Puas hati kau pergi lepak dengan kawan kau . Fyi , Im not your punching bag okay ? Whenever you're angry , you will vent your anger on me ? Im tired of crying out for you everytime , Im just tired of crying out for someone who doesnt appreciate me . Like I said , I treasure your time . Don't you understand what I meant ? Face it laa , you will never understand what Im feeling & why Im being this way . FML . D:

PENATTTTT ! :(

2010-07-23T23:45:00.000-07:00

Life's a dance you learn as you go. Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow. :)

Heyho , school today is boring . Didnt attend morning workshop lesson due to waking up late . Went to class after break ended . hehs . After school , went to a mall which is infront of cck mrt with meera cuz , shazwan & meera's friends . Went to the library , which was kinda kecoh . Really . :) After that , went to AMK , as meera had to settle some issues with her bestfriend . -.- Then went to rivervale plaza , had dinner at KFC . Sebby's treat . Thanks dude , then went to meera's house & slack for awhile . Then went home . Fuhhh ! Im exhausted . No kidding . I hate waking up early , going to school which is at the west side for 5 days in 1 week is just fucking tiring & going home is also another problem . I really wished that Ive a bike of my own , so it would be easier to get to school & go home . Im freaking gonna enrolled for class 2B bike lesson after my birthday . Really . I can't stand the trip going to school anymore , urgh . PENAT NAK MAMPOS . D: Yes , I went to my doctor appointment at CGH & bloody hell , the doctor injected on the part where I had an operation . The injection wasnt that painful , the painful part is when he keep pressing his dumb on my back to force out all the blood to come out . :S The doctor even took my blood for sample just to check whats the thing on my back is . Next week , I have to come down for another check up . Urgh . To confirm with the doctor what's growing on my back , I really hope its not a cyst . The doctor even say if its getting worst then I have to go for another operation which suck . Tsk . Ohh dear god , please help me overcome this time of hardship . Amin . :)

BACK PROBLEMS .

2010-07-21T21:03:00.000-07:00

My back problem is baccccccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkk . Kanasai . -.-
Went to the polyclinic this morning & I skip school yesterday regarding my back . I think that there's another growth growing again on my back where I had my previous operation . Seriously , why am I so unlucky ? Ive been getting sick alots this year . Wtf is woring with me ? I think somebody need to buy for me vitamins C . Really , I don't want to get sick all the time you know . Cause its freaking irritating & its gonna make me miss alot in school . :( The doctor decided to defer me to a specialist at CGH cause the doctor don't even know wtf is going on my back ? & You called yourself a doctor ? *rolleyes* But whatever it is , I really hope its nothing big . I really don't wanna go for another operation please . After going to the doctor , went to school . Well , ended up missing morning lessons . Tsk . Well , its only for a day . Im till upset about what happen yesterday . Im just pretending to put a smile on my face whenever I see you guys . Okay , I shall stop elaborating on them . Another thing is that , Ive quit my current job at seoul garden after 7months of HELL . Thanked god Im happy to be leaving that work of mine but til , ill be missing all the dudes & dudettes esp for johnson of course . Thanks for all the beautiful memories , you all tc okays ? :)

Friends .

2010-07-19T19:42:00.000-07:00

I got so many pictures to upload during the starting of the few weeks in school but sadly , boyfie's computer is being sucha pain in the ass . Just view all the pictures at my fb okays ppl ? Well , today i repay back my fast & some bloody idiots just had to ruin my day and make me cry . :( All I wanted was for all my classmates to bond as one . That's the main thing why I plan out an outing to break fast outside with all the dudes on my birthday . To celebrate me & Nizam's birthday as well since his birthday is also in the month of august . Its really irritating that my class is being seperated in three groups . First group is "The anime geeks ." Second group is the "AHBENGS ."
The third group is the "LONGBOARDERS ." Seriously , don't get the wrong idea or anything but I love hanging out with all of the groups . They are such nice company to be with . But the one thing that I hate is , us not being together as a class . The one thing that I don't freaking understand is that why can't all of you put aside your differences and just get along ? You guys say is awkward luhhs , tak suka luhhs & de takley kene sikit luhhs . For once ! grow up ! Seriously ! I can't even get all of you guys to go out on my birthday and break fast with me . I feel so hurt when you guys don't even have the initiative to think about me ? Its my birthday and I wish for everyone of you to come . Yet , your guys are even too ego to even listen and spare a thought for me . It only one day that I ask & I can't even get that ? Pathetic right ? You guys are feeling awkward just cause the longboarders are coming down for my birthday ? fuck . Don't give me stupid reasons okay ? Nak rase awkward buat ape ? You guys see each other faces in class every damn day , tsk . If you guys don't wanna come for my birthday then tu korang punye pasal okay ! Cause I don't fucking care & thanks for making me cry . You guys did sucha a good job . Some friends you guys are huh ? D:

Spell the word LOVE for me .

2010-07-16T21:30:00.000-07:00

Its sweet of the boy to fetch me from school despite him getting lost just by making his way to meet me at teck whye , thanks to the apek taxi who doesnt even know that there's a teck whye LRT station . Bodoh pah ! Tsk ! Its cost him 20 over bucks just to cab all the way from tampines to CCK . Despite him knowing that I was til upset & unhappy about what had happen . He still wanna talk things out despite me being a bitch . I felt so much better after screaming everything that ive kept inside my heart for so long . Boyfie I love you , really & I want you to stay with me . Like what you say , fighting makes our love even stronger .

Fights after fights .

2010-07-15T05:22:00.000-07:00

Fights after fights . Im pretty much had enough of it . Really .
Things use to be so much better before . What happen ? You promise me that you'll go all out for me . But it don't look like you do . Yeahs , i know you're an NS full time men . I understand but what about me ? have you ever spare a thought for me ? How I sacrifice most of my time just to spend the day with you despite my busy schedule , its like you don't even have initiative at all for me ? You use to give me your all . Even the little things you do could make me smile . But where's all that ? I really hate how things are going on now . Really . You don't know how much I need you here & how much you meant to me now . Its like whenever I need you here , you're never here .

Heartbreaks after heartbreaks . :(

Outings with family . :D

2010-07-09T23:30:00.000-07:00

Outing with family to bugis street , farrel park & mustapha center . Shopping and having dinner which is awesome ! :) Family is the best . :D

The start of a new day at a new school . :)

2010-07-05T20:00:00.000-07:00

Hi hello . I know ive been neglecting my blog for quite some time . Well , sorry . Im just being a lazy ass . Haha . :D How was my first day of school ? okayyyyyyy luhhhhhs . Woke up at 5am & I was pretty impress that I could actually woke up on time . HAHA ! Well , got ready & off I went to meet Khalil at 6am . Took the bus 168 and drop by at woodlands interchange , waited for some of khalil's friends then we took the bus 187 which dropped exactly infront of school . Okay , the school was pretty darn big . No doubt about that and khalil jakun nak mampos . Tk pernah nampak sekolah baru . haha ! I was suppose to meet the rest at teck whye but instead we decided to meet up in school . Me , khalil and his friends reached school at around 730 am ? which I think was pretty early . :) We decided to walk around the school first before class starts . After that , me & khalil decided to go seperate ways as I gotta meet Shazwan . I gave him a big hug the first thing i saw him & after that , we both went to meet our CA first . got our timetables and stuffs . Then followed by meeting the rest of the dudes . haha ! :D New timetable suck big time , aint loving it one bit . Most of the time , class starts early and class ends late too . boo hoo ! :( The one thing that i like about the new school is that there's a lots more food stalls then at balestier . HEHS . So hari hari sekolah di ITE CCK boleh buat aku gemok and today , I think i ate 3 times in 1 day . haha ! mampos ! XD But the two things I despise about the school is the MINAH REPS who freaking tucked in their uniform when the real attire should be tuck out . Pfft . Kemaruk secondary school sia . Biler time secondary school , nak tuck out . Biler time Ite , nak tuck in . Walao , tak faham aku & the behave like bitches , really . Not to offend anyone but Im just being honest . :) Secondly that i don't like about the school is , SEMPIT ! rimas . Ramai sangat orang . :( But till , i prefer balestier though and yes , I hate my subject teacher . Mr haridas . Irritating nak mampos . okay bye . I think Im done for the day . :P

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM .

2010-07-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 50th BIRTHDAY MOMMY .

Saya cinta love ai mommy sangat sangat . hehs .

semoge ibu pjg umor dan murah rezeki dan sentiase disayangi oleh tuhan .

May you be bless with good health and i can't promise you that ill change but i can promise you

that ill be a better daughter . May you have a good day today and you mean the world to me mom . ilysm .

much loves ,

your daughter .

Pain & nightmares .

2010-07-02T23:30:00.000-07:00

"Sometimes i wish that i can turn back time , less painful that way . "

Im not gonna lie , cause im really having a hard time moving on about the past . Yeahs , I know its freaking stupid but Im really trying my hardest . But somehow , it manage to overcome me at some point and it just make me wanna break down and cry . It hurts me alots that I still can't move on , it hurts me alots that I can't stop thinking about the past , it hurts me alots that you always randomly appear in my mind and in my dreams . It hurts me alots that you make me feel like crap everytime and it hurt me alots that I still can't get over you . It sucks okay ? Seriously . Gonna through the same routine over and over again , not knowing when this fucking feelings will leave you for good ? and knowing that no matter how much you tell anyone about how you feel , still they will never understand ? And still you will never feel better ? I just want you out of my mind ASAP . Cause its really killing me deep inside . Ohh god , please let the pain be over . Cause I can't stand the pain any longer . :'( I need a break from everything .

& yes , Im fucking gonna quit my fucking job fucking soon . Cause I just can't stand working with people who does'nt understand on why I can't attend work . Yes I know its partly my fault cause I didnt showed up for work but hey , I had my reasons okay ? Bilang takleh datang kerja pon salah , tak bilang pon salah . Pe korang nak ni ? Bilang pon kene maki bitch . Wahhhhhhhhh . Bagus luhhhhhs , sedap luhh tu mulut kau maki aku suka suka hati kau ? Calling me a bitch wouldnt make you any better as well and yes , thanks for the compliment uhhs . I really appreciate it . Well , look . I know that you're angry seeing some of the staffs not attending work . But still , it does'nt give you the right to just scream at people and calling them bitch just cause you're angry . Next time , kalau nak maki orang , dengar luhh penjelasan orang dulu . Kalau aku kene gini lagy , lagy tu luhh aku taknak datang kerja . I work there not to get scream and be called a bitch , I work there cause I have to and not that I want to . I work there cause I need to support my family whose having difficulties . Im the only daughter at home and I got alots of responsibilities get it ? You don't understand about my family problem cause why ? cause YOU'RE NOT THE FUCKING ONE WHOSE GOING THROUGH HARD TIMES ! Try putting yourself in my shoes , I think you'll be ditching work just to take care of your family . My family will always be my first priority & nothing will ever change that .

Pretending to be okay .

2010-07-01T00:02:00.000-07:00

"Everyday i smile and act like nothing's wrong . Its call putting everything aside and simply being strong ."

ice skating .

2010-06-30T23:36:00.000-07:00

Went ice skating today and had a dinner date with boyfie at seoul garden .

i had a great time with hym except for the part that we had to search for the atm machine which is fucking far from leisure park and it did make us waste our time searching for it . tsk ! but still , overall i had an awesome day . thanks bby for spending your time with me . ily ! hehs and now i shall let the pictures do the talking . Cause Im being a lazy ass right now . :)

Pakcik gue PMS uhh niari . -.-

2010-06-28T23:30:00.000-07:00

Hey ho people . Yeahs , told you all that blog will on hiatus . Well it is , just that im now at meera's house . Sleeping over for the night . So why not have the chance to update my blog since boyfie have taken his lappy back . Boo hoo ! :( okay shall start it out with yesterday's day . Well , how was my sunday ? Work was hell and that stupid supervisor of mine was pms-ing . I got scolded from him alots of times , from doing cashier to floor to helping runner . Tolong runner salah , tk tolong pon salah . Betol tk betol ni kau ? There's this new trainee and his name was asyraf . He's a friend of shan , he was still new to the place and it was his first time doing runner since he has learn doing floor already . Aku tolong dier pon kene marah ? for god sake luhhs , yeahs i know like what you say , he will never learn if i keep helping him . BUT HE'S TILL NEW ! stupid idiot . *rolleyes* mengamok dgn customers nk binget dgn kiter sekali . tsk ! Kau pergi sembunyi kat bawah ketiak mak kau pon cantik uhh johnson . -.- Shall stop elaborating on that fucked up supervisor . Work ended at 5pm , thanked god . After 7hours of madness , it finally came to an end . Got a chance to meet boyfie after 7days of torture . Yeahs i know , 7days only . But hey , i only get to spend time with him once a week only . Sad right ? It was sweet enough that he fetch me from work eventhough he was freaking tired . Yes he make my day by being sucha pain in the ass but somehow it seems to make me smile & boyfie says i looked like a doll with my new fringe . -.- haha . But whatever it is , i had a great time with him . hehs , yesaaaaaaaa on wednesday im gonna go ice skating and have a dinner date at sakura with boyfie . YAY ! Can't wait , just the two of us . :D

Today .Im sleeping over meera's hs tonight right ? well , bad timing luhh . Her dad's pms-ing and i superb hate it . Uncle wouldnt let her sleep in her room because he says that meera have too much priviliges already . like wth right ? -.- And now , she's sleeping at her brother room while her lil brother is stuck sleeping at her room . Great . Means that ill be sleeping beside her lil brother tonight . Thanks luhhs uncle . Uncle even got pissed off when meera trip over the lappy charger wire while wanting to get herself some food to eat . Wtf ? Poor meera , nak makan pon tk senang . Haiyah , no one to bitch around with tonight since meera's at the other room . BOO HOO ! UNCLE YOU SUCK WHEN YOURE HAVING YOUR PMS MOOD ! D: other thing is im so not looking forward to work tomorrow . Being such a lazy ass right now . :(

ohh yes , happy anny boyfie . ily . :)
may we have an everlasting love . AMIN . :D
*hugs and kisses*

i cut my fringe banks today & blog will be on hiatus .

2010-06-26T23:30:00.000-07:00

Okay i cut my fringe bangs . How ? Okay or not ? Well , i went lepaking with durga just now and somehow he laughed and says that i look like a doll . -.- He says he prefers my previous fringe . Well , whatever it is im okay with it . Though i think i look funny . haha . Shall be working tomorrow and i think that ill be the laughing stock for tomorrow . Well , whatever . Ohh yes , my blog will be on hiatus as im gonna give back boyfie's lappy cause boyfie's lil baby sister Aishah wanna use it as she got some homework to do online . So nvm . :) Which means no glue-ing my eyes to his lappy for quite some time and no more everyday blogging . Sedih pahhh ? but its okay luhhs . :) School gonna reopen soon and i can't wait ! But the first thing that i will do is kill shazwan as he say that i should do some self reflection of myself all cause i cut my hari bangs ? -.- cekik darah nye budak . haha . okay , its late and i think i should be in bed sleeping right now . okay bye . :)

And i can't wait to spend my time with boyfie tomorrow . YAY ! :D

okay , loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee the song cause its so freaking nice and its been playing on the radio for quite some time . hehs . :D

BLOG ON HIATUS . :)
anything just find me on fb , twitter or easier CALL ME . :D

what a boring friday .

2010-06-25T23:30:00.000-07:00

I aint gonna lie . What a boring friday it is today . Had work , starts at 5pm and ended at 10pm . It was pretty hectic I can say . -.- Jeffrey nak henti kerja , deon standard dgn muka slumber dier , sir thomas is down with a fever , maam joleen having her PMS period , maam cindy couldnt stop asking me to smile -.- (wth ? must i smile everytime when i doing my work ?) and sir thomas was sucha a pain in the ass just now . He really got issues about my hair and my fringe . Ask me to clip up my hair luhhs and tied my hair into a bunn lahh . He says that whose fringe reached under the eyebrown , dosa ? Nonsense . Mak aku pon tak pernah cakap siol . Merepek . Well , whatever okays ? yes , finally after for so long of MIA-ing , yana is finally back . :) haha . Finally . Work was tiring luhh and mostly boring . -.- Thanked god im not working full shift this sunday , haha ! im gonna work frm 10am-5pm only and shan will be covering me after that . haha . Thanks dude . :) On monday shall be going back to school , gotta go for a tour at the new Ite west CCK . Great , school gonna reopen soon which is awesome but i aint gonna have fun going there all the way from tampines and going back from there . I wish i had my own bike or my own transport . So it will be so less easier to get to school & go home of course . Grr . I swear Im freaking gonna enroll for bike lessons after my birthday which is coming soon . Okay eventhough is still 2 months away , but till , time flew by very fast okay ? Faster to august , please ! Hehs . Yes , I WANNNTTTT MY PAYYYYYYYYYYY ! Im fucking broke , im running out of perfume , i need to buy myself a new compact powder cause Ive misplaced it somewhere and its nowhere to be found . BOO HOO ! :( I need to get myself a new vans shoes , a new long pants for school (cause im freaking lazy to wear skirt to school . Nak duduk pat lantai pon tak senang .) and I think im gonna rebond my hair back . hehs . Gatal kan aku ? biler rambut da straight nak curl , biler rambut da curl nak straight pulak . HAIYOH ! -.- See there's alots of things i wanna do and buy ! okay bye , saya mahu tidur . Capek banget . Selamat malam and yes , HAYLEY WILLIAMS rock ! :D \m/

Im not loving today . :(

2010-06-24T23:45:00.000-07:00

Today is such a bitch . thanks .

Seriously , I hate my day today and I swear its true . Well , first thing is that mommy couldnt stop nagging . Urgh , I just feel like tapping her mouth cause she freaking wouldnt shut the hell up . Ask me to do that lahhh tu lahhh , for god sake . Give me a break sia . Im not being mean or anything but im freaking pissed . She ruined my whole day with her nagging and its been driving me insane . Secondly , I already did what she wanted me to do was to clean the whole entire house , hang up the clothes , sweep the floor , wash the dishes and clean my bed . OKAY EVERYTHING . Suppose to work at 5 but call work and inform them that ill be coming at 6 instead . Thanks mom . I had to rush my ass to work , just as i wanted to step my foot outside the house , she freaking ask me to look for my lil brother . Like wtf ? Im freaking late and you're freaking asking me to do all this . Urgh , okay so i did went to look for lil brother eventhough i was late for work . Eventually , I did found lil brother and i told him that mommy wants his ass to be at home now . But he refuse , so i called mommy . Guess what ? Aku yang tak bersalah , aku kene . BAGUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS ! She was fucking screaming otf with me . Like wtf ? and seriously its making me even more pissed off sia . Okay , tu tkpe . When i boarded the bus , thought i could have my peace of mind . Suddenly mommy called . Greattttttt . It even make me more pissed off that she thinks that I took her 50 bucks ! FUCK . If i wanna took your money , i think i would have fucking stole it infront of your face mom . See you don't even trust me ? Your only daughter . Urgh . Da gytu tkper , start work and lack of manpower again . -.- On floor me and deon . Jeffrey , runner . bagusssssssssssss ! -.- Yes , my menses had to come when I was working . Imagine that ? Sway nak mampos kan ? rush to the toilet and called mommy the first thing . But instead she was screaming the whole time otf . Aku da binget , lagy kau nk marah marah aku . I didnt asked to have my menses while working okay mommy ? urgh . but thanked god , brother went down to my work place and pass me the you know what luhhhs . Kerja cam nk mati . Urgh , i just hate today . I so did not enjoy my day today and I was so pissed that I nearly wanted to cry . BOO HOO ! :( i miss my boyfie terribly . Really .

There's so many things that I wished I could tell boyfie about what Im really feeling now but I know that he'll never understand . Its suck to be standing own your own feet alone , not knowing where to go and who to talk to . Its suck that no matter how hard people is trying to cheer you up , still you can't feel better but only you , can make yourself feel better . Get what I mean ? I just hate going through this shits over and over again . :'(

Back home .

2010-06-23T20:20:00.000-07:00

Hey ho . Im home at last , well sleepover at cousin's place was awesome . So kecohrable and i think i miss my cousin already . Boo hoo ! hehs . Okays , Im tired and i forgot that today was wednesday means tomorrow will be thursday and ive to work my ass off tomorrow . So not looking forward to work , like really . -.- Yeahs , school gonna start soon and i can't wait . So must get myself a new pair of vans shoes and i chop off my fringe already . Haha , finally i can see everyone clearly . Don't have to keep fliping my hair each time . Irritating you know . haha ! :D Pay day is next week . urgh . Punya la lama , im fucking broke and I need my pay . Gonna spend a day with boyfie , having dinner just the two of us at sakura . I miss you bby , sorry if i were being a bitch to you this few days , I just want your attention . I love you and I need you here . Can't wait to spend my time with you next week , i make sure you makan then you jadi gemok cm i okay ? hahaha . loveee you . :) ohh yeahs , i got my second bill and its $98.50 . I think its better then the previous bill which was $147 . haha ! Okay for the next month bill , shall try to aim under 80 bucks perhaps ? :) okay bye . :D

an outing with atiqah haron . :)

2010-06-22T22:49:00.000-07:00

Had a wonderful day with my best cousin today . hehs . ATIQAH HARON , well too bad meera couldnt join us as she miss out alots of fun . haha . :D Yes , i gotta a chance to meet baby Ilman Nafi'an ! After for so long . haha , awwwwhhh that boy was superb adorable . Gerammm nye aku tgk ! mintak kene campak luar tingkap you know . haha ! :) The cute thing is that he kept smiling whenever he wanna go to smile . One word ! CUTE ! Hahaha . So meet kakak at sembawang , then headed off to bradell as i followed her back to chance then off we went to Dhoby Ghaut . We decided to watch a movie at kakak's work place . haha . It was so fun , we watch the movie call "She's outta my league." Ratings for the movie , 10-10 ! the movie was funny and romantic . really , i wish boyfie was there to watch it with me . But BOO HOO ! :( okay never mind . After watching the movie , we had dinner at kfc . We couldnt stop laughing our ass off bitching around . haha . okayokay , after eating decided to go to Marina Square and go for a window shopping . Well , i think i shall let the pictures do the talking okays ? Yes , im gonna be sleeping over at her house today . YAY ! and i shall be back home tomorrow . :)

bitch .

2010-06-21T23:30:00.000-07:00

blogger is being a bitch . thanks luhhhs . now i don't feel like blogging .

FUCKING TIRED .

2010-06-20T18:00:00.000-07:00

Im finally home from work . grr , my legs are killing me & somehow its feels like jelly and yeahs , Im in a mess right now , I stink and I smelled like seafood kimchi . Urgh . -.- seriously , Im working again tomorrow ! Like wtf ???? Im suppose to be spending time with boyfie but my schedule for next week is fucking hectic . Im so pissed cause whenever Im working , boyfie is having his day off . When Im not working , boyfie is in camp . KNNCB . When can I finally have my day alone with him ? urgh . This is so fucked up . :'( Why do i feel like everything's so fuck up now ? Boyfie isnt here when I need him and he doesnt know that how much Im missing him right now . :'(

Schedule for next week , WORK . -.-
MONDAY : 5PM - 10PM .

TUESDAY : OFF .

WEDNESDAY : OFF .

THURSDAY : 5PM - 10PM .

FRIDAY : 5PM - 10 PM .

SATURDAY : OFF .

SUNDAY : 10 AM - 10 PM .

CB RIGHT THE SCHEDULE ? SUNDAY FULL SHIFT SIA . -.-

i miss 2009 .

2010-06-19T03:25:00.000-07:00

Really , im missing the year 2009 . Cause its fill with so much memories as I keep randomly having flashbacks about it and it just make me wanna burst into tears . Okay , Im already in tears . :'( I have the most wonderful family , I have the most wonderful friends & Ive the most wonderful boyfriend but why am I still not feeling happy ? Gosh . I really hate this . Really and the feeling is driving me insane . I hate it when im trying my very best to move on , somehow you manage to appear in my dreams and in my mind . Somehow , it make me feel even more worst and more shitty . I just hate it . Yeahs , no point telling how I feel to the others cause they will never understand . I hate it when people tell me that they understand how it feels to be in my shoes but no , please don't pretend . Cause you just don't okays ? Cause you are not the fucking one whose is going through this shitty feeling everyday damn day like i do . This stupid feeling is like a mosquito that just wouldnt leave you alone & i fucking hate it ! Somehow i just feel like something's missing . Somehow this shit is really starting to bothers me , ohh god . Why can't i just stop feeling this way ? I just wants things to get better please . Pretty please . :'(

LAST MINUTE STUFFS TO DO .

2010-06-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

Went out with mom today , cause its been so long since ive spend my time going out with her . :)
i didnt go to work . Its last min okay wan ? that i didnt showed up for work . family first in everything . 5 bucks ? Haha . Kau wait long long luhhhs . -.- We just went window shopping and had lunch with her . hehs . Well , thought that im gonna spend the whole day with mommy but ended up going home cause mommy had to work . So had a last minute plans with boyfie and iskandar . Si monyet tu perangai tk ubah . -.- He's still a pain in the ass , haha ! Well , im not that suprise . Haha . It was kinda nice of iskandar to meet us at tampines all the way from aljunied . By right , he was suppose to work but he decided to meet me and boyfie . Hehs . At first , we freaking have no idea wth we should go . Iskandar wanted to go and catch a movie but I wasnt in the mood . After bickering against one and other , we decided to have our dinner at Mcd . HAHA ! Iskandar's treat . thanks :D After eating , decided to play pool and karaoke-ing at grandlink . Had alots of fun , 3 orang da macam 30 puluh orang sia . its was so kecohrable esp the karaoke-ing part with boyfie and Iskandar . Iskandar couldnt stop making weird noise . OI MONYET ! THAT MICROPHONE IS FOR YOU TO SING NOT MAKE WEIRD AND IRRITATING NOISES . -.- hah ! but i enjoyed my day . really . thanks dudes for making my day . hehs . :D
next , sheesha or prawn fishing . hahahahaha ! Cab back home and poor bby , gotta rush back to camp on his day off . shit . Thanks to Ndp cause he gotta fall in by 430am . Love look so tired . Stupid NS is really taking him away from me , patience okay bby ? this is only for awhile . It will end soon . :) okay , im missing love now . :(

holidays are a drag . really .

2010-06-17T14:41:00.000-07:00

Seriously , holidays are such a drag . I mean really . Faster to school reopens please ! Cause im really not enjoying my holidays that much . I kept doing the same things over and over and over again . Tsk . Things that i do is , shower , eat , watch tv , go to work , slack , suft the net & sleep .
Its like a cycle you know and its making me feeling even more bored . NO LIFE i shall say . I wanna do something for a change , i wanna meet my friends , i wanna go shopping and just have fun . One thing for sure is that im really gaining weight . lols . But somehow , that's the only thing that i seem to like . Being fat mean , BAHAGIA . haha . :) Today , i shall go slack with durga since i was suppose to slack with him yesterday but cancel as im still tired from work on tuesday . 10 hours okay ? who the hell wouldnt be freaking tired ? Am i right ? Im still feeling tired and two days of off day is still not enough for me . ohh god . I need a new job pleaseee ! :(
Faster to school reopen can can can can ? 5th july ! please ! Pretty please ! And yeahs , i miss that boyfriend of mine . :'(

Ohh yes , i was otf yesterday with meera , bitching around and stuffs . haha ! While suddenly , Rahu Syad gave me a called . Haha , had a funny conversation with him . So i had to put meera on hold for 20minutes ! haha ! sorry lahhh cousin . You know i know that i love you . HAHS ! :D

*phone rings* (i pickup)

Nisa : " Hello ?"
Rahu : " Hello . "
Nisa : " ni sape ni ? . *look back at the no. cause the no. look so freaking familiar and so was the voice . *
Rahu : "tak kenal eyk ? okay , bye ."
Nisa : " EYKKKKKKKKKK RAHUUUUUUU ! "
Rahu : *Burst out laughing*
Nisa : " eyk sorrila tk kenal , your voice sounds so different sia ."
Rahu : " really uhhs ? where got ? samer je . "
Nisa : " serious , different sia . haha ! "
Rahu : " no luhhs ."
Nisa : " ktner ni ? kt work eyk ? work til bsk pagi eyk ? . "
Rahu : " biase bro . haha ."
Nisa : " haha ! okays . "
Rahu : " eykkk! biler nak jmper ? ."
Nisa : " besok uhhhs . tpi later you paitao me again uhhhs . "
Rahu : " hahaha ! sorriluhhs . "
Nisa : " im so use to you paitao-ing me thats why i cannot get angry with you . haha ! plan to meet up but confirm tk jadi , its either you penat or SLEEP . haha ! da biase uhhhs . "
Rahu : " sorriluhhhs ! eyk your bf tk mrh ke i call you the other day ? "
Nisa : " no luhhs , he very understanding . that time i wanna go meet you also , i tell hym what ? "
Rahu : " eyk ? then what did he say ? "
Nisa : " he says okay and have fun lorr . "
Rahu : " Ni mesti you tell your bf that i paitao you right ? "
Nisa : " yes . " *giggles*
Rahu : " siak je . hahahahaha ! "
Nisa : " my bf ask eyk bby never lepak with rahu ? then i say , rahu paitao me sey ! "
Rahu : " then your bf say what ? "
Nisa : " my bf just laugh . hahaha ! "
Rahu : " hahahahahahaha ! "

seriously , i cannot get mad at Rahu anymore cause im so use to being paitao by him . hahah ! dah biasa dah . but i mean it in a good way okay Rahu ! cause i know you're tired and all . Somehow , Rahu syad got issues about my hair . haha ! Mati mati want me grow
my old hair back . He still got the cheeks to tell me to cut my hair botak ? wth ? He says thats
the only way that my old hair will grow back to its natural way . haha ! Pe saje je si Rahu Syad ni . :) okays , i shall stop bragging for now .

(This is some of the things that I wish to have and some things that i need to do .)

Go shopping .
Buy a lots a lots of dresses . (But i don't why , i becoming to be a girly girl now . -.-)
Pay my iphone bills .
Finish reading meera's twilight saga books .
Buy a new vans shoes before school reopens .
Get a haircut cause my hair is freaking fugly now .
Go reperm my hair cause the curls doesnt looks so curly anymore . boo hoo !
Watch the movie karate kid cause i hear the movie is freaking awesome !
Go and visit baby ilman Nafi'an cause im missing that cute little boy .
Spend time with my dearest boyfie cause im missing him truckload ! you're all mine for next wk ! hahahahaha ! *evil laughs*
And yes , SLEEPOVER WITH MY TWO BEST COUSINS , ATIQAH HARON & NURUL AMEERAH ! :D

vans shoe in the colour green ! must buy this baby pretty bad !

Dslr cannon camera ! I wish i had the money to buy that . boo hoo ! :(
*singing* I wanna be a billionaire so fricking bad
buy all of the things I never had , I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine
smiling next to Oprah and the Queen .

10 hours of work . joy .

2010-06-16T02:47:00.000-07:00

how great the feeling is to be back at home after 10 hours of pain at work . sheesh and seriously my legs are killing me . no joke , im just glad that work is over . yay ! im seriously gonna quit this job pretty soon . please ! and kakak nurul ! i wanna work with you luhhhs . :( okays ,
first thing in the morning , i couldnt stop coughing which was irritating and yes i puke . like wth right ? daddy told mommy and mommy got worried . mommy says , i get sick easily due to "MERAYAP" . *giving the look* i don't think that got anything to do with getting sick right ? ill get even sick if i rot my ass at home . haha . per saje je mak aku ini . how sweet of boyfie to wake me up for work, knowing that ill overslept and yes we spend a few minutes talking on the phone & i couldnt stop giggling to myself . thanks to hym . the boy just couldnt stop making me laugh early in the morning which just make me smile . :) i love you bby . hehs . so yeahs took a shower and took my own sweet time to get myself work . seen two manager that i didnt know which was sir thomas and maam joleen . i had a lil conversation with sir thomas but i kinda find it abit weird . -.-

sir thomas : "nisa , smile . why you look so serious ? . "
nisa : "huh ? *confused look* smile ? im smiling what ? . "
sir thomas : "no , you look so serious . smile luhh . where's your smile ? . "
nisa : "must smile all the time meh ? -.- " .
sir thomas : "yes ."
nisa: "i lazyyyy lahhh . very tired uhhs . "
sir thomas: *giving me the wtf look*

seriously , i don't understand why ? i mean , yeah i know i gotta smile . but then its work right ?
don't you think you gotta be serious while working ? and takkan nk senyum 24/7 kan ? -.-
nanti orang pikir yang aku ni giler . tak betol . yes , work was lack of manpower . sebab yana didnt show up for work . so ended up with jeffrey and deon , pasangan yang terbaik sekali . -.-
belom start kerja , si jeffrey lak muka mau mati . cam kene sawan gytu and it was scaring the shit out of me . deon lak , i just got no comment . those who used to work at seoul garden ,
fhm fhm luhh eyk . haha and yes had another conversation with sir thomas , again .

sirt thomas : "so nisa , tomorrow don't forget to bring your smile okays ? ."
nisa : "huh ? tomorrow ? im not working lahhh tomorrow . -.- ."
sir thomas : "huh ? really uhhs ? ."
nisa : " yes . "
sir thomas : "then when you work ? ."
nisa : "on friday & sun . "
sir thomas : "then i shall see you on friday , smiling . "
nisa : "ouhhhhhhkaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy." *scratch head*

its just weird lahhh . i mean seriously . okay i shall not elaborate on him . i miss boyfieeee alots !
and i can only get to see him next week which sucks . thanks to schedule lahhh .
pretty much hectic . urghhhhhhhh and i really need sleepover with my best cousins . miss
you babes too . i miss my source of joy too !
since its the holiday , ive been missing alots of people . :( faster school reopen cannnnnnn ?!

And i need a hair cut pretty bad , my hair is getting fugly day by day . hah !

its late and im still not asleep .

2010-06-15T02:15:00.000-07:00

look at the time . its 2:05 am and im still not asleep yet . i got work at 12 noon later and it will end at 10pm . joy . -.- 10 hours of work and im not looking forward to it . urgh . i just can't seem to fall asleep ,
i don't why . something seems to be bothering but the sucky thing is i don't what is it ? the feeling is so fucked up that its starting to make me feel paranoid . im tired but yet my eyes wouldnt let me rest . ohh god , when can i stop feeling this way ? :(

my mind is just in a mess right now .

i could really use a wish right now .

2010-06-14T16:07:00.000-07:00

today is monday and somehow i think that im having monday blues . grr .
im just freaking not in a mood for anything at all .
suppose to have plan today with hassy which was to have dinner with her but
maybe tk menjadi sbb hassy got alots of school projects to do . ohh well , maybe if tak jadi then
shall rot my ass off at home again . pfft . :( i wanna go out pretty bad but the freaking problem
is that im broke . urghhh . great . i don't know why , but i keep having nightmares after nightmares after nightmares . why can't this things just leave me alone ?
cause the feeling is just freaking irritating you know . tsk . -.-
i could really use a wish right now . :(

ups and downs .

2010-06-14T01:11:00.000-07:00

finally , things with the boy is okay . but the sucky thing is that we both have yet to apologise to his mom . god . im still feeling bad about it . :( boyfie wanted us to put aside our problems first
and just take everything easy for the time being . ohh well , im glad that ive stop crying .
im just glad that he's till with me . bby , you know that you mean so much
to me now . please stay . ily and i really do . next week , awhole week of not meeting bby . boo hoo ! your ns sucks uhh bby . haha and to those who have been comforting me about what have happen . thanks . appreciate it alots ! love you all luhhs . :D

disappearing for the time being .

2010-06-13T17:38:00.000-07:00

dearest boyfie ,

nothing can describe how much i love you and how much you meant to me right now . no matter what , ill always be there for you . but i think for the time being , it is best for us to have a time out . cause nothing can decribe how bad i felt now when you fought with ibu . the way she look at me & ill never forget that . it breaks my heart to see the one that i love most , suffers . cause of me you fought with ibu and its not your fault bby , its mine . sebab i muncul dalam hidup you , things got worst . lets face the fact that whatever ibu say was right . ibu sayangkan you and she just wants the best for you . sebab you sorang je yang dier ley harap kan like what she said . kiter je yang bodoh , uat kerja tk pikir dulu . im sorry for being sucha a burden to you cause i know that all this while you have been going through alots of things just for me . im sorry that i couldnt make you happy , im sorry for being a pain in the ass to you , im sorry for not being a good gf to you & im sorry for everything . :'( maybe we should just forget about everything cause nothing seems right anymore . i just cant stop thinking about you and ibu . please bby , listen to me okays ? family first in everything . you should put your mom first instead of me cause she is your life . you can put me aside cause im just your gf , im not your family or anyone thats important . bby , your parents doesnt like me and what makes you think that you can change their mind after what have happen ? yeahs i know it takes time but the main thing is now that pendapat ibu terhadap i dah berubah . its wouldnt be like last time , ibu is right . im just like all your other ex-es . USELESS . remember bby , ibu just wants the best for you and so do i . if ibu wants me to leave you then i got no choice but to respect her desicion and let you go eventhough it hurts . :'( im gonna sacrifice myself just for the sake of you and ibu . mark my words bby , i takkan jmper your family lagy after what have happen . just think of ibu , think of everything that she have done for you . it hurt me alot to see your mom cry . i can never forgive myself for doing this to you . im sorry baby . i need a break . please take good care of yourself , please dont think too much about me and mostly , try talking things out with ibu . she need you the most right now . im sorry for every single thing . its my fault and im the one to blame . :'( promise me that you will be okay with or without me . ill be gone for the moment , running away from everything . please don't find me and ill promise you that ill be just fine . don't worry okay bby ? i love you bby , i have always do . :'(

yours truly ;
nysaaa .

my bestfriend , my boyfriend .

2010-06-09T13:04:00.000-07:00

yes , we're finally together and im officially attached .
hehs . thanks for believing in me when nobody would .
i love the way you make me feel whenever im with you,
i love the way you make me smile whenever im with you,
i love the way you make me laugh whenever im down and
i love the way you look at me , please don't ever change .
i love you yusof bin abdul halim and nothing will ever change the fact
that ive you by my side now .
<3>

you're winning my heart more and more each day . :)

2010-05-26T13:04:00.000-07:00

dearest ex boyfie ,

yesterday spending the whole entire day with you was seriously awesome . i could never ask for anything more . got to meet your mom & your family . i feel so close to them already esp to with your lil sisters . adorable ! i never regret welcoming you back to my heart , cause i know i've make the right choice which is sticking with you through out everything . yeahs , people kept asking whether are we an item yet ? well , we're not official yet . but i know that you're winning my heart more and more each day . :) i have never seen someone who's willing to go all the way just to win back my heart . someone who is willing to sacrifice his love just to see me happy . awhhhhh . :) seriously , you're the only ex boyfie of mine that ive ever given a second chance to win back my heart . i hope you could really use this chance and prove to me that you're worth giving a second chance . hopefully you can change for the better and remember what we talk about yesterday? this is life , let the past go cause im learning to do that now . ex boyfie , im really looking forward to my many days of spending my time with you & please don't hurt me anymore cause im loving you more and more each day . you're a someone that i don't want to go a day without thinking about and i is missing you truckloads already . faster finish your NS luhhh faggot . hehs and lastly you know that i will always catch you if you fall & ill always be by your side if you need me . its official , i love you yusof bin abdul halim . hehs , hurt me again , ill makesure you carry me up the stairs 10 times everytime we meet . hehs , evil kan i ? promise me that you'll never leave me hanging okays ? *uat muka manja* if you leave me , ill makesure that i kill you . hehs . *evil laughs*

ala , you know ily . :)
*hugs&kisses*
yours truly ,
nysa . :D

wayang tgk kite ke tao kite tgk wayang ? haha .

2010-05-25T23:30:00.000-07:00

wayang tgk kite ke tao pon kite tgk wayang bby ? haha .
you make my day tonight and i think that im falling for you more each day .
yus zelph . <3>

a day spend with ex boyfie . :)

2010-05-25T13:07:00.000-07:00

sorrie for the lack of updates , been too busy . really .
exam is just next week and i still havent revise on one bloody thing .
there's alot of thing that i wish i could blog on but im just playing lazy & there's like alots of pictures that im dying to upload but LAZY ! anything just check it out at my fb okays ? went karaoke-ing with best buddies last thursday and kak ayul was there ! haha ! had truckloads of fun & fri ? skip work due to school and projects . -.- & i spend the saturday going out with exboyfie &
family . went to watch an instrumental gig which was at bugis , followed by having dinner at seould garden . semua perangai gemok . haha ! then we went to have sheesha ! i had a lot of fun camwhoring despite having to rush back home cause it was freaking late already . thanks to dad . tsk . okayokay , shall not elaborate on that . i know i had a great tyme . really . :)

and now , im currently at ex-boyfie house .
mind the picture above . i purposely skip school so that i can fetch the boy from camp .
awwwhh . sweet kan aku ? haha . faggot ! you still owe me ice cream ! :D
hehs , yes i got lost on the way to changi . haha . but thanked god , i did manage to find my
way to selarang camp . hehs , the boy couldnt stop pestering me to come by to his house .
finally i got to meet his mom . awwwwwhhhhh . she's really nice . hehs , i was abit shy .
but his mom was really nice and i had a wonderful time talking to her . :)
the boy and me order mac delivery cause i was craving for hotcake sausage meal and the boy was craving for a big breakfast . hehs . his mom was cute , she order pizza somemore , tgk kiter order mac delivery tk order kan dier sekali . haha . i couldnt stop laughing my ass off just now .
maybe after im done updating , me and ex boyfie shall be going to vivo . walkwalk . :D
faggot ! faster finish your NS luhhs , cause I is going to miss you when youre back in camp again . :(

im happy with what i have now . finally! ive made the right choice .
im so glad to have you by my side right now .

never forget your mistakes but instead learn from it. don't ever let the past hold you back eventhough it hurts. im gonna start a new, starting with you. goodbye yesterday and hello today. ♥

your words really blew me away . :(

2010-05-15T00:22:00.000-07:00

i didnt expect you to be this mean and heartless . your words really blew me away . :(
yes , aku terasa psl ape kau ckp sbb i know that you were referring to me .
its clear already . well , i guess you read my blog or maybe not ? i don't know. now , you know what's been going on . im afraid of you now . yes , afraid of what you have become . what you say is true , i can't expect things to get back to the way it was last time or expect anything in return from you . yes , things change and so do you . that's part of nature , maybe i was too selfish to think about my feelings all the time and never spared a thought for you . yeahs , its your life , you can do whatever you want & who the hell am i to stop you ? who the hell am i to you now ? i know that i did try my hardest to hold on tight to you but maybe letting go of you is the best way since you say that i came back into your life as if i was really a pain to you . so i shall not bothered you anymore . this will be the last and the final time that ill be posting about you . cause no matter how hard i try , i still can't get you to love me like the way you did last time and i don't see a point to love somebody when he doesn't care or love you anymore . im just sick and tired of going through the same thing over and over again .
maybe some things are better to remain untouched . but whatever it is , the time i spend with you will never be thrown away and thanks for the memories .
all the best in life . <3>

love .

2010-05-14T01:53:00.000-07:00

time check its 1:53 am and the sucky thing is that im still not asleep . tsk . i just hope that i wouldnt be late to meet the rest later on for school . well somehow , i can't stop myself from not thinking about you and its hurting me . i mean alot ! seriously . i don't want to drift away from your life but somehow i think that i will , told my friends about "it" and they told me to stop contacting you . which i don't think that ill even have the heart to do so . :( but i know that my friends are just worried about me and my safety . it hurts alot to see someone who you still love dearly , changes into someone that you don't know anymore . its really saddening and its really starting to scare me . i don't want the new you , i want the old you back . back to being that somebody who i first fall in love with , back to being that somebody that i thought was my another half , back to being that somebody who has never stop caring for the ones he loves , back to being that somebody who does'nt even have any piercings , back to being that somebody who has never fail to make me smile whenever im down , back to being that somebody who will always give me warm embraces , back to being that somebody who will laughs to my silly jokes , back to being that somebody who will never stop saying i love you countless of times & mostly , back to being that somebody who will never fall back to his words . it is just scary to see you and knowing that you're not you anymore . please , you're really scaring me and im really scare of you now . please . just stop whatever you're doing now and just spare a time for yourself to think . i don't want to risk myself in losing you again , 10 months of not seeing you or contacting you is enough and i don't think that i wanna go through that pain again . please , wake up to your senses . you don't know how much you meant to me . :'(

having you here with me was the best feeling and the best thing that i could ever ask for . please just don't leave me hanging again . :'(

freaking tired .

2010-05-13T20:49:00.000-07:00

im freaking tired . omg . went to school with zhen hui , atikah & zahier .
again i was late . sorrie guys . :D had breakfast first , ate nasi brayani which i took was nice ! yummy ! haha , i had lifeskill today , again slept in class like a baby .
haha . never know that sleeping was the best thing ever . :) after lifeskill ended , had lunch break for like 2hours ? MENDAK GILER ! tsk . slack outside school , and finally it rain ! how relief was i ? cause the weather have been scotching hot for the past few days . ohh yeahs , zhen hui till couldnt stop sneezing . eat your medicine luhh bitch ! haha and i think that he's gonna get flu soon . so must take good care of yourself horr ! :)
didnt do anything that much , the whole entire day in school was a drag . esp the part when
we had engine management . all of the dudes was bored and they even campak campak botol . wth ? haha . but i till find it adorable . took some video of them making music . just watch and theres one video that hazwan got angry cause ahmad couldnt stop coming in and out of the room which he thought was irritating . haha , cute or what ? anwar selalu spoil the music . like wth ? see they were really trying to kill time . haha ! :)
tomorrow , theory at 8am and i actually forgot that i was suppose to go to kak ayul's work place
to fill in the application form and go for a interview . how silly can i be ? haha . sorri kak ayul !
well , i think i should stop bragging for now . haha . cause i wanna eat !

ohh yeahs , lastly i hate when someone's get angry and he/she
tends to vent their anger on me . wth ? get this straight ,
im not your punching bag okays ? tsk . *rolleyes*

a purple wednesday .

2010-05-12T21:30:00.000-07:00

hey earthlings . today was another boringggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg day .
pfft . early in the morning , somebody just had to ruin my beautiful morning which is like
wtf ? nvm , shall not elaborate on that . had engine management theory and i didnt pay any attention at all . i don't know why but my mind wasnt focus at all . after theory ended ,
suppose to have PE but ended up skipping it cause i hate the teacher due to something which he says about my face that make me feel very offended . tsk , stupid teacher ! *rolleyes*
okay enough about that , so during the 3hours of break . went to zhen hui house with atikah , shazwan & zahier , like finally !
got a chance to upload new songs, two movies and sort out some pictures in my iphone . yes ! :D
while i was busy doing uploading some stuffs for my iphone ,
the rest was watching SAW III . omg , that movie is really violent .
body skin tearing apart here and there . ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww , disgusting i may say but it is an interesting movie to see . at some part , the rest was goingggg "omgggggg! urggghhh!"
haha . cute or what ? all of them was really into the movie .
so after watching the movie , went back to school cause we still had mr phang class .
didnt pay any attention to him cause he was busy telling stories , hah !
so watch some movie on my iphone , class enter and i went home .
i met durga after school ended ,
lepak lepak lepak . yeahs we only manage to slack for awhile cause durga need
to meet somebody , so i met hannan after that . hah !
as usual , slack again ! but this time , we slack with our guitar . haha !
strum strum strum , shah decided to join us . haha . :D
they strum strum strum again until my eyes got sleepy . tsk . i paster the both of them that i wanna go home cause im freaking tired . but they just ignore , hannan wouldnt stop making stupid faces & he couldnt stop strumming the guitar while shah , just wouldnt let go of my electric guitar . wth ? -.- tunggu drg maen guitar puaspuas , then they send me back home !
yay ! finally ! :D

exams are this coming 30th may and im so so not looking forward to it .
means , i gotta study . stress ! and im craving for macdonal's hotcakes now ! haha !
okay random . :)

youre till in my thoughts .

heartache . :(

2010-05-12T02:05:00.000-07:00

firstly . the heartache that im feeling inside is seriously killing me . really .
it sucks big time when you have to make a choice between someone you still love after he
went missing for 10 months ? and he came back into your life again .
it also sucks big time when you have to make a choice between your ex whom you know for 6 long freaking years , who you have been spending alot of time for the past three months with & someone who deserve being treated better .
im sick and tired of everything already , it is worth my time thinking about it ?
it is worth my effort if i did make a choice ? it is worth me taking this risk ? it is worth me crying out for the both of you ? i don't know .
i just hate what's happening now , i don't know what to do , i don't know who run to , i don't know who to cry to , i don't know ! i just don't know ! i just feel like everything's falling apart , why must it be me whose going through all this shit ?
please , i just want things to get better ,
i don't wanna go through this shit anymore & i don't want to cry like a stupid bitch anymore . *crys* :'(

ben & jerry's !

2010-05-11T20:06:00.000-07:00

today was fine but boring again . tsk . woke up pretty much early which is at 3am in the morning . cause i realise that there was a msg from ipen . so yeahs , we texted each other for awhile &
halfway through , i think ipen fall asleep . well , i shall let him rest . so doze back to sleep & at 615am got a msg from zahier , asking me whether i wanted to go to school with him and meet
zhen hui & atikah before heading to school ? so yeahs , thank eyk zahier . haha . you always
have to ruin my beauty sleep ? bitch luhh you . haha . :D
so i had to drag my ass all the way to the toilet and shower . after finish getting ready , went out
and met zahier , followed by mommy . cause ezlink card concession gonna finish soon , so mommy pass me the money & off we went to board the bus .
while i was otw to school , mommy called . saying that she didnt bring the house key and she was
stuck outside the house . haiyo . wanted to go back home and save mommy from being stuck outside the house but she mati mati want me to go school . so ask mommy to go sit at her friend house for the time being since ill be coming home late from school . haiyo . kecorable .
met zhen hui and atikah at boon keng mrt , the funny thing was that early in the morning ,
zahier run up the escalator which i tought was funny ! haha ! when he was
running up the escalator , it was so loud that me and atikah burst into laughter . haha .
its like godzilla running up the escalator . haha . :)
walk to school and zahier couldnt stop complaining that he was hungry and all .
haha . whatever luhh bitch . :D
so had breakfast followed by class and again , i wasted my time coming to school again .
cause there was no lesson at all . like wth ? -.- so i spend the whole entire time slacking in the
workshop and watching safi and shazwan fighting . haha !
got safi got his revenge back by putting a passcode on wan's iphone . wan tried unlocking the code but ended up forgetting the code . haha ! i record a video of them fighting which was hilarious ! wanna see the video ? just go to my facebook profile okays ? :)
well , after class ended . had lunch then decided to go to dhoby ghaut as wan is treating
me , atikah & zhen hui BEN & JERRY'S ! tk menyesal aku tk dtg skola niari . haha ! we all decided to ditch afternoon class . haha ! wth ? :D
had ben&jerry's and after that we headed to marina square as both of the dudes wanted
to do some shopping . follow here and there , bought what they wanted . haha .
omg , you guys shop like a girl ! hahaha ! :D went to topshop , wan wanted to try some new shoes and i manage to try this high heels which cost like about a 100 bucks ? omg , i look so weird in it while wan says i look good in it . feels kinda weird cause im not use to wearing high heels and
i don't even plan to . hehs , finally how many tries on the shoes wan decided not to
buy the shoes . haiyo ! -.-
okay soon we went to mac and eat . so did some story telling ! haha !
ghost , religious and alot more stuffs . haha . after hours of sitting there , went home .
school was boring but i did have a wonderful time with my friends . love you all luhhs . :)

seriously , you're starting to scare me . i don't want
to think of you in a different way. but please just stop what you're doing now .
if this continue , you're gonna drift me away and this is not a joke . please .
i want the old you back . :(

i don't need pretenders to be my friends.

2010-05-10T19:21:00.000-07:00

seriously , today was boring . woke up early in the morning , thanks to zahier . haha . suppose to meet him early but i always end up late & im not in good terms with my stomach . my stomach played with my feelings ended up i had to rush myself to the nearest toilet which was at safra since im meeting zahier there . first thing that i did when i met him , was greeted him and say "SAKIT PERUTTTT !" and then go run to the toilet . haha ! never know that shitting was the best thing ever . haha ! after that , boarded the bus cause we were already late to meet atikah and zhen hui . after 20 minutes , we reached boon keng . met atikah & zhen hui , walk to school . the good thing was that i wasnt late . haha . :) school was seriously boring , i couldnt stop myself from yawning . didnt have any lesson for the first class , its like im wasting my time when i can have all the time in the world to catch up with my beauty sleep . urgh . had breakfast , then again went back to class . spend the whole entire time watching paramore's video on my iphone . john told me to go watch this video on youtube which is call inaked? haha . somewhere in spain , iphone over there are able to download this application which is called inaked and you can see anyone whose is walking down the street naked ! haha ! disturbing sia the video . john seems to like it . *giving him the look* im not suprise also , haha ! had lunch break after that , went lepaking . met hendra outside . he was very excited to see me and wanted to see my iphone too. he went to play this game with me called tap tap revenge . ended up , screen aku terzoom while we were playing it and i was pissed already . thanks eyk hendra . *rolleyes* had a hard time undoing the zoom thingy . thanks to shazwan , he managed to reset all my settings . thanked god ! & thanks alots wan :D hendra ! youre definitely not touching nisa's phone anymore . haha ! i saw abg an in school also and looking at him reminds me of his baby ilman which is superb duperb cute . im missing my anak sedare already ! i had engine tech theory after lunch , i didnt pay attention at all & soon i doze off to sleep . haha , zhen hui says that i slept like a baby . awwwwhhh . thanks bitch . :)

its kinda feel awkward not talking to a certain friends of mine just cause of this silly arguement
that we had . padahal masalah tu da settle . i had nothing against you now but you came to school and you gave me faces . biler satu taknak bbl dgn aku , semua taknak bbl dgn aku ? kirekn kalau satu orang makan taik , semua makan taik uhhs ? haha , baaaaeeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk ! fyi , i can stand on my own two feets with or without your guys and seriously i really don't need pretenders to be my friends . :)

saper makan chilli , akan terasa pedas . :D

7hours of pain !

2010-05-09T20:29:00.000-07:00

heylo earthlings . miss me ? haha . okays , gonna update again .
finally im home after 7 dreadful hours at work . omg , i wanted to scream almost every time when i was there . thanked god im home right now . see all the pictures ? haha .
mintak kene sepak je kn muka aku . lil brother is the best dude to camwhore with . haha . :)
work was awful and the customers was sucha a pain in the ass .
very demanding , i mean really . lack of manpower again . wth ?
so i had to do floor and runner at the same time and customers couldnt stop coming in and its seriously irritating . mentah mentah , today is mother's day ? haha .
so run here and run there , carry lotsa plate and cup . i think that my back is gonna
hurt soon . urgh . -.- okays , shall stop elaborating on work .
the best thing about being at home now , is FOOD ! hahaha !
mommy cook today . wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh .
she cook curry chicken and sambal udang pulak tu . haha . best best ! *two thumbs up*
and this is the conversation that i had with mommy .

nisa : "mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmy ! "
mommy : "what ?"
nisa : "hehs . *giggles*
mommy : *giving me the look*
nisa : *run to the kitchen* "mommy cook today ?"
mommy : "yeahs , ibu cook niari . there got sambal udang . go eat . "
nisa : "YAY ! haha . best nye . (then i kiss mommy on the cheek) happy mother's day! love you! "
mommy : "uhh ye . kiss je ? present aku maner ?"
nisa : "wahhhh . mommy pikir ica cap duet ke ? eyk a kiss from your daughter is priceless you know ."
mommy : "eli iphone boleh ? belikn aku present tkley ? sudah lah kau ."
nisa : "HAHAHAHAH! wait til your birthday luhhs . nti ica belikn ibu emas ."
mommy : "cam faham luhh kau . " *give me the malas nk layan punya muka*

seriously , don't you think that my mommy is cute ? haha . ader aje je, dier punya comment .
haha . okays , i wanna go eat mommy's sambal udang now ! yay ! :D
rock on readers . :D

happy mother's day ibu ,
you know that i love you , thanks for being the best mommy and
the best bestfriend i could ever had .
only a mother like you could love a rebelious girl like me , thanks for tolerating
my fcuked up attitude all these while . i cant promise you that ill change overnight but i will try my very best .
you mean the world to me mommy & ily . mwah ! :)

home sweet home ! :D

2010-05-09T02:20:00.000-07:00

mind the picture above . haha . :)
yes , finally after for so long ill say this , never know that home sweet home
was the best thing ever . for once , im happy to be home . thanks to 12hours of pure madness at work . *rolleyes* seriously , i didnt enjoyed work that much as it was pretty much hectic . thanks to all the customers luhh . nvm , the most kecohrable thing was that
a friend of mine at work jeffrey , got into a fight with this china irritating bastard aaron . *rolleyes*
jeffrey wasnt happy at aaron cause he didnt do his work , all he did was slack and he didnt
even help those who were on floor . lack of manpower somemore ! while i at the other hand ,
had to run all over the place . like wth ? and seoul garden looks so messy sia .
jeffrey told me that aaron was putting words on his mouth saying that he didnt
do any work but then it was the other way round .
while i was wiping some plates , i hear screaming coming from the kitchen . aku ingat kan
mak aner yang tgh marah anak dier kat dapur ? sekali aku dengar btlbtl , lerr . jeffrey luper nye yang tgh pekikpekik . i don't know wth happen ? all i saw was faizal grabbing jeffrey & doing an arm lock . haha ! cause he was cursing aaron in chinese and he was going out of control ? serious and the scary part is that jeffrey wanted to took a knife and
stabb aaron . walao eyk , pretty dramatic right ? haha , tapi mmg bgs pon kalau jeffrey bunuh
aaron . cause he's so arrogant and bulu hidung dier irritating . haha !
kecoh uhhs , okay . let stop elaborating on jeffrey & aaron . haha . ended work at 11pm which
was shitty, i can't sleep which suck and and mostly , i miss ipen . :(
and im really not looking forward to work tomorrow .
its 2:20am and im still not asleep , work starts at 10am you know . nvm , shall endure
like 7hours of pain . haha ! shall be resigning soon . real soon !!!!!
cause i wanna work with kak ayul place . yay ! *jumps ard*
need to go for a interview first . haha . okays , i think i shall run along to bed .
my eyes are going gugagagagaga already .
night readers and rock on . :)

ohh yeahs ,
happyy 18th birthday to a dearest fren ,
norkamaliah bte abu khamis !
miss you babe and happy birthday . :D
must meet up pretty soon aite ?

a night well spent with ipen . :)

2010-05-07T17:05:00.000-07:00

how should i say this eyk ?

haha . i webcam myself to sleep yesterday night . like wth right ?
freaking tired luhhs and yeahs , i met ipen . kinda spent tyme together at fort canning park . i saw something hanging on the tree i think . i wasnt too sure what was it but its scary and
that cheeky boy still wanna explore the park when its already coming to 230am ? *giving the look* before meeting hym , bought daddy a birthday cake and sung hym a birthday song with lil brother . his birthday is actually today but decided to celebrate in adv . but the sad thing is that he doesnt seem to appreciate what i did for hym . :( nvm . the good thing is that im already okay with mommy . thanked god ! decided to put away all my egos and just ask her for forgiveness . im glad that everythings is back to normal . i miss ipen already , if only you know how much you still meant to me . :(

happy 66th birthday daddy .
semoge pjg umor dan murah rezeki.
you know that ill always love you . <3>

field trip plus dinning at seoul garden !

2010-05-05T01:24:00.000-07:00

awesome day . :)

things are getting more complicated .

2010-04-28T20:05:00.000-07:00

hello earthlings . sorry for the lacks of updates . been really busy with school until i don't even

have time for myself . the only time that i had was , sleeping . haha . okays , you guys might be wondering why im posting ipen's picture ? well , the thing is that i finally found out what's his reason for his disappearance . how did i get to know ? well , long story & god i didnt expect him to get warded in the hospital and nearly died due to bursting his lung from smoking too much . :( omg . it sad to hear him suffer while im here , saying things about him that is harsh and i wasnt even there to be by his side . how could i ? i really feel so bad and i let my anger get the best in me . im so sorry ipen . im really am . im glad to hear that you're okay now but please do takecare of yourself and don't overwork yourself . i hope things will get better eventually between us and i just want things to get back the way it is last time . but i know its hard , urgh . why must i be in a situation that is so complicated ? i still have feelings for ipen , no doubt about it . omg . it just sucks so much being me now & im not in speaking terms with mommy . its been 8 days since i talk to her even since the arguement we had last thursday . im sorry mommy & imy alot more then you know . *crys* :'( abg is going to NS this tuesday which sucks . going to miss you too . :(

and to passerby , YOU SUCK . *middlefinger* :D

bored .

2010-04-21T14:43:00.000-07:00

firstly , don't you think that she's hot ? haha & i loveeee her hair . its so bright . :D gotta admit it that im definitely a big fan of paramore ! :D
well today day was abit short . cause i only spent 30 mins in school , due to waking up late . im still sick btw and i woke up at 8am today and class was suppose to start at 830am . ohh crap . tsk . well , took my own sweet time to get to school and i miss the whole entire period but mr lim was nice enough to go through again the topic that i miss . i wasnt the only one who is late , hazwan and anwar too . listen for awhile and yes , had breakfast first then i skip PE . cause i definitely wouldnt be attending PE anymore . stupid fcuking teacher . kutok lgy uhhs pasal muka aku , fcuk you okay ? *middlefinger* shall not elaborate on that . after i had breakfast , went to zhen hui house with shazwan , atikah and zahier . played band hero on th ps3 . YAY ! :D haha . yes , i miss mr pang's class . wth ? haha . well nvm . ohh yeahs , yesterday spend a day with ex boyfie . :) like finally ! he fetch me from school as i was sick and then went TM for our lunch then after we had lunch , went lepaking and again , we had ice cream ! yay ! thanks ex boyfie ! :D we just spend the whole time talking craps and telling ghost stories . haha! this friday , shall be going to vivo city , to spend time again with hym . can't wait . :)

sick again . fcuk .

2010-04-19T21:14:00.000-07:00

im sick again . woke up with a sore throat which was a bitch after two days of hell at work .

ya ya im complainning already . but still wth wouldnt be tired after 13 hours of work ? am i correct ?

haiyo . thinking about quiting my current job soon , cant take it anymore cause

its really tiring and im gonna work full shift again next week . which im definitely not LOOKING

FORWARD TO . tsk . -.- so wan ! potong kaki uhh kiter on saturday ? hahaha .

well school was alright , see the picture ? hahs , john was the attention seeker of the day .

he couldnt stop changing my wallpaper into his picture & i had to change my wallpaper again . irritating you know . haha . it just that i didnt attend mr yeo theory cause i follow zhen hui to take his BTT test at ubi and the good thing that he passed . *two thumbs up*

zahier , atikah & shazwan was there . after accompany zhen hui , went to jamming at simei . haha . fun you noe . :D

ended up going to meera's hs , taking a cap to her place . :)

urgh , i wonder why i felt sick easily ?

can somebody please buy me vitamins . urgh . :(

and rambut aku da tk nampak curl lgy . cb uhhhs , wasted sia 80 bucks aku . -.-

im till having nightmares about you .

its already been 10months , why can't i get let it go ?

urgh . its killing me . :( *crys*

birthday wishes !

2010-04-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 22RD BIRTHDAY EXBOYFIE RAHU SYAD ! :D

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TO SAFI !
Happy birthday to you both , may all your big wishes come true .
you guys rock my socks !
have a good day ahead and rock on . \m/

and rahu , i owned you a cake & safi , i owned you 18 punches . haha ! :)

RIP :(

2010-04-17T23:00:00.000-07:00

R.I.P. :(

al-fatihah to abdillah murad md shari aka achik .

sodeh per achik died due to a car accident .

mommy told me the sad news when im otw home from work .

he died at the age of 28 . muda or what ? still couldnt believe it .

its really scary you know that nowadays people who die are young ?

omg . till no more achik spin ? :(

sodeh . :(

pulau ubin trip .

2010-04-15T20:38:00.000-07:00

hey ho . this is the pictures taken from pulau ubin trip .

there isnt that much pictures cause i was freaking lazy to snap alots of pictures .

so ini pon jadi luhhs . hahs . :)

the weather was scorching hot today and i sweat like a pig . tsk . -.-

the only part that i enjoy was watching my classmates killing a real live frog & cut it open .

superb funny plus abit of scary . hahs , the funny part was when anwar try to kill the

frog . haha ! kecoh sia . :D poor froggys , R.I.P luhhs and the second thing that i enjoy

was repelling down a cliff . it was abit scary at first but it turns out to be okay and it wasnt scary at all . yay me ! eventhough , i did fall alots of times while repelling down & i got a cut

on my leg . boo hoo ! :( the only thing that i didnt enjoy is when we have to walk through

the forest then go up the hill . omg , fcuking tiring and i felt like an NS soldier sia . running

through the wood and just pushing every woods & leaves that was in my way .

thank god , i had got it done and over with .

but it will be the last tyme that im going to pulau ubin . haha !

tempat irritating . -.-

seoul garden ! :D

2010-04-13T01:09:00.000-07:00

hey ho . today was the second day of school .
i was early for school which was suprising . suppose to do a test but i didnt want to cause i was still in holiday mood . hahs . :)
school today was boring and nothing special happen . so i decided to cabot class
and follow the dudes to LSP which was at bukit timah . its was fcuking long trip &
im not in good terms with weather , its scorching hot & thanked god it rain heavily . FINALLY !
so skip class and off to bukit timah . haha ! i envy oman as he bought one skateboard , one longboard & a pair of skate shoes
which cost hym like about 700 bucks ? walao . mentang mentang duet bursary da kuar ,
shopping luhhs per lgy ? hahs . while waiting for the dudes , texted meera & i wanted to
treat her seoul garden . texted mommy but she didnt reply due to work . nvm , so met
meera at woodland's mrt station and off to eat at seoul garden .
it was superb kecoh and fun . i had alot of fun esp with that makcik .
love you luhhs cousin ! :D

back to school :D

2010-04-12T10:19:00.000-07:00

first day of school was really boring . haha .

went to school with zahier and yeahs , ended up

waking up at 530am . urgh and i got monday blues & im still feeling shitty after having fever for five straight days which make me not work for 3 days . dammit . ohh nvm , haha . yes got a chance to meet yana during lunch break ! finally ! got a hug from her and so does shazwan . haha . cey cey . :) yes , how do you think my hair looks ? better then my straight hair ? lols , got alots of compliments from friends . awwwwhhh . thank you luhhs . :) love you all and this thursday , am going to pulau ubin .

mampos . -.- really not looking forward to go but i had to force myself . go to pulau ubin just for class bonding ? wth . gy luhhh ice skating ke or shoot pain ball ? atleast something sia . urgh , hope the weather on thursday will be extra nice . not hot , not rainning but just nice . pretty please .

ohh yes ,

HAPPY BELATED 18TH BDAE TO AIN B ! :D

mayy all your wishes come true &

you know that ill always have your back .

love you ! :P

down with fever . :(

2010-04-07T20:37:00.000-07:00

hey people . wassup ? yeahs , i know my blog is dead . but i don't really care . tsk . -.-

cause ive been quite lazy . hahs .

currently im down with fever , my nose have been a complete bitch . urgh and im shivering too .

the first thing when i woke up was that i felt every part of my body was aching and

my temperature was indeed going up up up . tsk . suprisingly i still got the mood to

clean up the whole entire house , plus do the laundry and then meet ex boyfie .

ohh god . maybe ill not be able to attend this friday's picnic due to this fcuking fever , tkmo

cakap picnic je , i might not be able to attend work as well . im kinda upset but see how my conditions are .

if im well enough then going to the picnic and work shall be no problem . ive been spending alots of tyme with ex boyfie yusof and i love the way things are now . :) last saturday , ex boyfie & his friend sharil (panda) accompany me to get my hair done . hahs . yes people ! i perm my hair already . i got butt cramp for sitting on the chair too long but i didnt complain . guess who couldnt stop complaining ? si panda luhh tu . lols . -.-

ex boyfie ! laen kali tkmo ajak dier eyk . hahaha . sibuk je . will upload the pics of my hair soon . :D okays ,

the funny thing is that ex boyfie is also down with fever , hahs ! get well soon aite ex boyfie ? don't be stubborn luhhs okay dummy ? eat your medicine tao . if both of us are well then we can eat

ice cream together plus plus watch more movies online or should i say videos ! hahs . :D

look at the time , its 8:37pm and i still havent ate my breakfast . fcuk .

i just want to eat ice cream . :( *pouty face*

mommy ! i want ice cream pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !

ohh yeahs ,

happy belated 19th birthday to

bro ramdhan . :D

smoge pjg umor dan murah rezeki and may all your wish come true .

and lastly , TKMO LOKEK dgn adek beradek kau when its comes to

lending your lappy okays ? -.- you know i meant well .

love you as always . :)

ex boyfie . :)

2010-04-02T10:40:00.000-07:00

somethings you see , isnt what you think it is .

futsal ! :D

2010-04-01T10:50:00.000-07:00

how was futsal ?
one word ,
AWESOME . :)
so i shall let the pictures do the talking and all the pictures were talken
after futsal as hykel brought his camera after we had lunch . -.-
but what a day , its superb fun . :)

a sleepless night .

2010-03-31T04:45:00.000-07:00

time check and its 4:30am .

omg , i still havent been able to fall asleep . gosh . as you can see ,

i change my blogskin . it wasnt that easy but it was hell doing it . fcuk . -.-

ohh yeahs , thanks to meera for being

so kecoh and thanks for making me laugh so much that my stomach hurts . :D

hahas and yeahs , i laugh hard when meera was talking random .

esp the part when she was talking about her boyfie andy and says that , her boyfie was

going to name their son "RAINBOW" ? ahahas . me and kak ayul couldnt stop

laughing as we find it fcuking hilarious . hahs ! :D

ade saje je si gemok nie .

im feeling damn tired but my eyes doesnt want to rest .

what a bummer eyk ? its a weird thing that he still keeps my number ? and the funny thing that he still has the cheeks to text me his new number ? well , i just find something fishy .

benci benci kau kat aku , simpan jgk kau number aku . *rolleyes*

sometimes , i just don't understand people nowadays .

pathetic actually . -.-

what can't you just fcuk away from my life and let me live my life in peace ?

you hurt me bad enough .

latest updates .

2010-03-30T19:03:00.000-07:00

welcome to the family ILMAN NAFI'AN . :)

hey ho people . i shall update when i have the time .
i know , my blog has been dead . grr , blame it on abg for being so stingy . *rolleyes*
currently at kak shidah's house , well good news ! kak shidah is now a mom ! and she
gave birth to a baby boy . ilman naf'ian ! cute kan budak tu ? hehs ,
i couldnt stop going gugagaga over hym when me and meera visited kak shidah at the
hospital last week . the funny thing is that we were like perompak trying to sneak into the
hospital and i couldnt stop giggly . wth ? hahs . yes , its official im now a makcik. :)
ilman nafi'an , your aunty nisa will always love you and i can't wait to see you grow up . :)
holidays is ending soon , got alots of plans this holiday and seriously i can't wait for school .
cause im missing all my buddies so muchhhhhhh . :( i can't wait to get my pay tomorrow cause im fcuking broke . tsk . -.- im gonna get myself a new pair of vans shoes ! yipee !
how things with ex-boyfie ? well , things are going great and i nearly lost my hp 2 days ago .
thanks to ex boyfie for running back to get my hp back . hehs . :)

will update soon people . don't miss me too much . :D
im sleeping over here at kak shidah's hs today as tmrw kak itin is dropping by , so i had to
cancel my plan with ain b as i promise her that ill go to the gym with her . sorrie b ! family first in everything . i promise ill make it up to you okays ? still im sorrie ! and on thursday ,
futsal with the 401 dudes ! can't wait ! friday work , saturday off and sundae work and next week on fri , picnic with the seoul garden dudes ! :) see my scedule is pack .

ohh yeahs ,
happy adv 18th birthday shah bestie !

da tua luhhs kau . hehs .

love you luhhs . :D

present hutang eyk . :)

dining at sakura . :)

2010-03-18T10:07:00.000-07:00

pictures uploaded .

dining at sakura with all the seoul garden dudes was fun . :)

and we played bowling after that and not to forget , we spend the day counting stars .

ni semua wan nye pasal luhhs . hahas . he couldnt stop saying this , "nisa do your job." and he kept pointing to the stars . hahs . :D

what an awesome day . :)

short update.

2010-03-17T12:08:00.000-07:00

hey ho people . sorry for the lacks of updates . been too busy or should i say lazy ?
hahs . i guess both i think ? hehs , how life this few weeks ?
tiring and doing the same old routine which is going to school . yes , ive make a new ezlink card
which cost me about 24bucks . fcuking irritating actually . tsk , lesson learned for me . which
is to be more careful and not careless . hahs . :)
ohh ya , this week mark the last week of school and off to 3 weeks of holidays .
thinking of it , im really not looking forward to it . darn , cause ill have to work my ass off which
sucks . tsk . *rolleyes* and ill definitely miss all my dudes .
last week on saturday , spend tyme with exboyfie . yeahs , the sweetest thing that he did was , he suprise me with a jigsaw puzzle with a magnet frame and it has a secret message . awwwwwwwwwhhh . finally ! i got a chance to count stars with hym . yay ! thanks for
making me day exboyfie . :D
sunday , i work my ass off for 12 damn long hours . fcuk the supervisor luhhs .
bdo , kecikkecik tknk mampos , da besar menyusahkan orang . aku sumpah hidup kau tk senang uhhs . hahs ! *evil laughs*
and later shall be going to school .

ohh yeahs ,
happy belated 20th birthday ipen & may all
your wish come true . :)

sway day.

2010-03-09T20:04:00.000-08:00

my day today was so fcuked up . urgh , all thanks to one little thing called

ezlink card ! fcuk man , i lost my ezlink card yesterday and i only realise it today morning after

i run back home to get my ezlink card as i thought i left it at home . tsk , dpt tao hilang . alamak ,

darah naek jek . da gytu tkper , kene maki habis habis daripada mommy dgn daddy .

wtf luhhhs . ended up going to school using coins and i feel weird cause its been a long

tyme that i use coins for bus fare . tsk . -.-

and and and , i walk back home alone . sodeh pahhhh ?

and yes , i shall be getting a new ezlink card tomorrow . :)

ohh ya , its a good thing that you realise that you're an asshole cause you're indeed one and hahs , taopn kau rasa bersalah saying that you're not going to date me anymore . well ,

IN YOUR FACE LUHHHS ASSHOLE . hahs .

its your loss and not mine so i don't care anymore . haha! *evil laughs*

and yes , i heard that somebody read my blog ?

or should i say bloghop ? hahs . kecoh luhhs lu .

shall return for more updates if abg tk lokek on lending me his lappy . :)

rock on dudes !

paramore concert !

2010-03-07T03:26:00.000-08:00

paramore concert was off the hook ! i can't believe that i went to the concert just now.

hayley was superb cute ! jumping around like a lil monkey . hehs . it was worth not coming to

work and it was worth spending my money on the ticket . eventhough , i had an arguement with my stupid ass supervisor johnson . bodo , tsk . shall not elaborate on hym but

i had alots of fun screaming my lungs out , jumping and headbanging with wan ! hahaha . bryan and kakak ayul was there .

can see from their faces that they did enjoy the concert . hahs . they performed total of 13 songs and say that they will be coming back to singapore less then 5 years . im definitely going to their

next concert , this tyme must buy the standing tickets first ! :D

ohh yeahs , ex boyfie fetch me at kallang .

thank you dear . hehs . im starting to miss you already . :D

work was fcuked up . :(

2010-02-21T06:14:00.000-08:00

how was work today ? it was fcuk up . thanks to that stupid ass supervisor of mine uhhs . irritating bastard sia . early in the morning got fcuk up by hym . sheesh . work suppose to end at 5 but ended up going home at four as the business wasnt doing that gd & meera didnt have to attend work . so went home first , had a shower den get ready and headed off to meet meera at compass point . went cake searching with her as her boyfie andy birthday is coming . go here and there & finally manage to order a cake that she wants for her boyfie and now , stuck to her lappy . hahs ! :D

" Missing you isn't the hard part, knowing I once had you is what breaks my heart."

tired & pissed .

2010-02-20T04:58:00.000-08:00

on friday right after school , went to meet yana . :) yes , the first thing that i do when i saw her was i hug her . hahs . she couldnt stop saying that im getting prettier . hahs . gile punye org , i think i just look the same sia . :) slack with her and i had a greatttttttttttttt tyme . don't ever say that i forget you luhhs ? walao mintak kene ketuk sia . hahs . must slack again okays ! :D work yesterday was okays and so was today . its just that my legs are pretty much killing me and yeahs , im kinda pissed off that ex-boyfie cancel our date for today . like wtf ? due to some family problems . well , i understand . tapi bilang aku last minute ? tsk . *rolleyes* i was so looking forward to spend a day with hym but it turns out to be an upsetting & tiring day for me . all he could do was say sorry & next tyme don't promise me anything if you can't even do a simple thing which is by going out with me . tsk . save your sorries for later ex-boyfie . well , i was so pissed with ex-boyfie , decided to met up with bestie rashidah and of course i couldnt resist my temptation of having oreo cheesecake . hahs . went to have our dinner at mac and of course OREO CHEESECAKE ! hahs . *jumps arounds* after eating , just slack and talk random . :D im definitely not looking forward to work tomorrow , i have to cover yana's shift . 10am-5pm . god!

penattttttttttttttttttttttttttt siol ! *signs*

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeahs , not forgetting this ,

happy 32th birthday to my dearest aunty , makbusu ! :D

nk ice cream eyk ? wait long long luhhs . hahs ! *evil laughs*

finally , a proper update !

2010-02-18T17:22:00.000-08:00

heyho ! finally a proper update . yesaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ! currently at home , im using big bro's lappy . thanks bro , laen kali tkmo lokek okays ? ni mcm uhhhs gerek . hehs . :) razak and iman ! better stop disturbing me saying the word "cribs." aku pat umah okays ? hah ! :D how was school after the cny holidays ? haha . to be honest , school is okay but the pure boredom is killing me . hahs , suppose to finish school at 430p today but ended up going home cause my eyes was going gugagaga . i bumped into iskandar and firdaus in school just now . how sweet of iskandar to give me a ride home on his car . wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh . *eyes wide open* and yeahs , i fall asleep while mr teng was explaining something which i have no idea what it is ? hahs . *confused* tomorrow ,

not looking forward to work , why ? cause i hate to work if my fcuk up supervisor johnson is working . tsk . shall not elaborate on hym , i think ill guess endure the whole day at work like how i always do . two more weeks to paramore concert ! yay ! *jumps around* omg ! im still clueless on what to wear ? hahs . shazwan ! make yourself free , jadi ley pergi shopping dgn aku ! hahs ! :D

finally ive open my heart to someone which is exboyfie .

consider yourself lucky that im giving you a second chance to win back my heart , cause

i don't give my ex-es a chance . but i must say , it wouldnt be that easy to win

back my heart . so hope things will work and pandai pandai luhhs you pikat hati i lek . hahs !

shall be counting stars with hym on saturday . :)

love isnt just a feeling , love is a choice and love is something that we all need . <3